My Big Lesson on Stillness

Unexpected events tend to teach us the biggest lessons. Earlier this week I was walking into town, searching for an e-mail on my phone, when suddenly, out of the blue, a man jumped out from behind a lorry!

Surprise

It happened right in front of me, and not surprisingly, I screamed at the top of my lungs. Turned out he was one of the two scaffolding guys working on the house nearby. He apparently thought it was a fun idea to hide behind their lorry, wait until I was just about to pass, and then, "Boo!". His colleague instantly started laughing long and hard and so did a young boy who happened to pass by at the time.

I looked at the smiling guy who had tried to intimidate me, and shouted "Are you crazy? Why did you do that? Haha. Very funny!"

Aftermath

Since I was on my way to an important meeting, I tried not to think about the incident. However, even after the meeting the event was still on my mind and I called my husband to talk about it. On the way home, I took photos of the lorry and the guy who jumped out.  My husband then contacted the company and they immediately apologised and said that the person would not work with them anymore.

Lesson

Although I felt shaky that afternoon (who wouldn't after a full grown man jumps out in front of you!) I also knew that I had an important choice to make. I could either dwell in my frustration and condemn the guy who did it, or I could recognise that it was simply a stupid decision by him to joke and have some fun. Also, I had never experienced a real threat, injury or danger, and I was safe.

I decided to meditate, be mindful and acknowledge that I am here now. In addition, I wanted to acknowledge the feelings of fear and frustration, but not let them take hold of me. And it worked.

He is forgiven. I am at peace.

If you have experienced any similar lessons, let me know!

The Timeless Temptations - Your Time is Now

Some people shoot to the sky like fireworks, before fading away. They can give you sunshine on a cloudy day. And when the world feels like a ball of confusion, they make you feel like you are on cloud nine. 

Timeless Time Machines

I am sure you also have people you admire, who have set new trends, transformed their field and broken new ground. For me, those people include the Temptations. The group recorded multiple classics ('My Girl', 'Get Ready', 'Papa was a Rolling Stone' among many others). Every time I listen to the above group, they take me back to the mid 60's to early 70's, as if my headphones were a time machine. At the same time their music is timeless. 

Creating "magic"

The other day I wanted to find out what happened to the members. It was a sad surprise to find out that four (David Ruffin, Melvin Franklin, Paul Williams, Eddie Kendricks) of the original five members had already passed away due to drug addiction, suicide and health issues. 

The one remaining original member, Otis Williams said that "there was a magic, that will never be had like that of the original five."

Shoot for the stars

Now when I listen to their music, I appreciate what the group managed to achieve even more. There were struggles, members who eventually left, but for a few years, together they managed to create magic. 

We can do the same. We can shoot for the stars in our fields, leave a mark and create fireworks that will light up the sky for those who come after us. We just need to use our skills to best of our ability, take chances and remember that our time is now. 

The 4 Power Principles

1. Purpose

First thing, we need to figure out where we are heading, what is driving us in that direction. Who are you? What are you about? What defines you? What is your mission?

In life coaching one of the keys is to start by setting a goal. This is important, but I would argue that a purpose is beyond the next 6 months, 12 months, 24 months. A purpose has do to with your spirit, drive, your essence - what are you about?

As an entrepreneur, I have lost count of the times that I've been out on a limb putting myself in new situations (attending networking meetings on my own, featuring on videos and so on). What helps in those situations is to reconnect with my purpose; the bottom line, the real reason I am there.

I am about motivation - not just for a month or year, but for a lifetime. That self definition can be applied in a number of settings. This is when we get to create a plan.

2. Plan

How are you going to make best use of your purpose? How is it best reflected? What makes you shine? How can you serve? Which steps can you take today? By when do you expect to achieve those steps? Who can support you and help you flourish?

No man is an island, and over the course of starting my business, I have had a lot of help, and opportunities from business networks, my partner and mentor. Since I work from home, I set daily objectives, weekly and monthly not to mention a 3 year plan. The common denominator for all those plans is that I get to be my best, doing what I love - motivate.

In order to activate the plan, we need to be our own motivation machine. When times get tough, we can use that extra battery of...

3. Positive Thinking

A limitless life requires a limitless mindset. 

When we tell ourselves 'I don't know' over and over again, what result do we get? I don't know. Ask yourself 'If I did know what it was, what would it be?'. 

Also, don't take good words from granted. If some of us spent at least half the energy we use on criticising and downplaying ourselves, then our lives would change significantly for the better. Having gone through depression I have learnt the hard way the positive self compliments don't always come easily. That's why my morning mantra is 'I am Beautiful, Smart and Amazing'. I encourage you to create one too! 

You are the child of God and to do what you are meant to do, there is no time for self pity, only self power. 

4. Peace

Figuring out your purpose, plan and positive thinking requires stillness; the ability to listen to ourselves and what we need. Not just in terms of physical health but mental as well. 

Whether it is through mindfulness or other forms of mediation, prayer, playing with your children, reading a book, a walk in the park, exercising at the gym, running, whatever it is, we need to recharge our batteries. 

There are ebbs and floods in life, and taking time to be silent or doing a fun activity, and letting you thoughts float by like clouds on a blue sky is essential to our wellbeing and accomplishing the things we want in life. 

As you will see on my website, all of the seminar & workshops relate to the above topics in one way or the other. 

You are very welcome to attend my next seminar '10 Life Lessons I Learnt at the Gym' on 15 March!

If you want to find out more, contact me today. Take the first step towards change!  

Lots of love

Hermine 

Making the Decision - My Move to Madrid

When we decide, the magic starts. When we decide, we let God work in our lives. When we decide, we open up to blessings.

One of the worst, most frustrating places to be is on a fence. It is safe, but it can wear you down.

You know that feeling deep inside, that yearning feeling, that wants you to move on, aim higher, develop, expand, increase and go further. Maybe you can't put your finger on what you are meant to do, but you want change.

Moving to Madrid

I have been there. When I moved to Madrid as a teenager, I was ready for change. I had put my foot down. I knew I deserved more and better. As one of my teachers said, "This is your time to bloom'.

My main goal was to get therapy. I knew that I wanted to feel better, regain self esteem and taste freedom. I barely spoke the language, moved 7 times within the first 3 months and at the same time was trying to find work. I handed out newspapers, sold gingerbread & mulled wine at IKEA and other jobs until started studying Spanish at a University. After completing the studies, I worked as an English Teacher.

Build your strength

The key to getting well was making the decision; not knowing in detail how things were going to plan out, but believing in the overarching goal: recovery.

Many people prefer to travel together, explore together. However, don't be afraid to step out on your own. It is the situations when you have no one to turn to, that will truly build your strength.

So, don't worry if you can't see the next steps. Just make sure you get on the staircase.

Believing is Seeing - 3 Steps to Getting What You Want

Are you a 'Seeing is Believing' or 'Believing is Seeing' type of person?

I believe strongly in the latter. Many of us define ourselves based on what we have seen in life:

• My parents got divorced, relationships are fragile, and I probably won't be able to maintain one
• I didn't get good results in school, therefore I am not very smart
• I am struggling to pay off my mortgage. I am terrible with money
• I am 25 and haven't had a relationship yet. No one will fall in love with me

The above phrases are just a few examples of things we may tell ourselves. Based on results, things must be a certain way, right?

Nope. I was told I couldn't make friends, while the real reason was I struggled with self esteem. I didn't meet my husband until I turned 30. What if during those previous years, I had given up, and thought it couldn't happen?

Feel, envision, believe

When we believe, we start seeing things. When we set a vision, feel it, believe it, we start attracting the things we want. That is why my logo consists of a staircase with 3 steps: envision, feel, believe.  Instead of just another mundane day at work, you are on path to finding the right job for you. Instead of a night without a date, you are building your confidence, getting closer to meeting that other half.

What you say to yourself matters

What you tell yourself, your thoughts, affect the energy you send out, your body language, your feelings. Perhaps the reason you haven't found a partner yet, is not because you are unattractive or 'a hopeless case' - perhaps it is because of what you believe about yourself?

Your parents may have gotten divorced. However, you are a different person. You can be the first one to change the pattern.

I know people with dyslexia and ADHD. They didn't get great results in school or enjoyed studying. However, they are as intelligent, if not more than, a lot of other people.

Change your beliefs for good

You may be finding it difficult to pay off a loan. However, letting that define your character is completely different and a big jump, compared to acknowledging that you need help. Never ever let negative experiences define your character.

Believe that things are working out for good, that you are good enough, and that these are good times.

('Seeing is Believing' was uttered by St. Thomas, and Jesus responded

"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29))

Break Free Moment - 3 Things To Declare Over Your Destiny

Creating your own realism

Some of us have lived, or live, in environments in which things seem to work against us, where we are set up for disappointment, encouraged to be 'realistic'. I don't know how many people I have spoken to who were told not to pursue a dream because it was deemed 'unrealistic'.

Similarly, some people are 'marinated' in an environment of low expectations, low fulfilment and low satisfaction, since people around them are too afraid to raise their hopes up.

Breaking Free

What I want you to know is that it is possible to break free, and create your own reality. In your world, you decide what is realistic, what you are called to do and what feels right.

I have been called names, told that career plans were unrealistic, that I didn't have social skills.

Acknowledgement is the first step towards change. When you face the fact that certain people around you bring you down rather than lift you up, you are making your first move towards setting your own standards, your own goals and your own definition of yourself
.

3 Declarations

I want something better. I deserve better. I am willing to do better.

Want to increase your confidence? Join me on 25 Feb in lovely Luton. Special introductory offer: £3! www.herminehodson.com/motivational

3 Questions That Will Help You Find Your Purpose

Back in college I received a lot of information about career and further education. However, what I missed were some deeper, more fundamental questions about identity, vision and mission. Sometimes what we long to do is right in front of us, we have the skills and passion and our actions point in that direction. We just haven't been confronted with the right questions.

1. Who are you? 

This is a fundamental question which has nothing to do with name or profession. It is about the fundamental feature of ourselves which transpires everything we do.

If somebody had asked me this question, I would have given a standard answer: 'I am Hermine Helleday (maiden name), I am 18, I live in Stockholm...' and so on). At the same time, I was reading self help books, watching Dr Phil, Oprah Winfrey, and even political debates because I could analyse people and could listen to engaging messages.

Today I give a totally different answer. I am a Motivator. That definition influences

• my work (life coach, motivational speaker)
• my relationships with people (focused on listening, providing support, asking questions)
• what I read ('I Declare: 31 Promises over Your Life' by J. Osteen, 'Daring Greatly' by B. Brown),
• what I listen to (motivational, spiritual podcasts such as the 'RobCast' and 'What I know for sure' by Oprah Winfrey)
• what I tell myself when I am alone (make up motivational speeches in my head!) 

2. What do you enjoy doing?

When I was 18 I loved listening to lecturers in class, probably because I have always admired good public speakers. I also loved travelling and moved to Madrid, Spain at 17. Learning about a different culture, helped me understand other people.

Today I watch Ted Talks regularly, watch political debates and speeches, and love spontaneous trips to new destinations, such as Rome last week. My husband has now made it a tradition to give me a trip for my birthday (plus you can get a lot good deals in January!). Last year the destination was Valencia.

I am now able to travel and motivate people, sharing my personal story of overcoming difficulties and showing that change is possible. What could be better? Did I see myself doing this for a living at 18. Nope. But my interests certainly pointed towards that.

3. What are you about?

This is the question that relates to your tagline, your mission, what you want people to know about you, your USP if you so will. Back in my teenage days, I barely knew what tagline meant, let alone how to formulate one. However, in meetings with people such as employers and clients, the clearer picture you have of who you are and how you can contribute, the better.

As an example, Rhonda Byrne, author of bestselling 'The Secret', uses the mission statement "Bring joy to billions".

Today, my mission is:  'Help create life-changing moments'. It's your life, your moment. I help create the breakthrough, the first step towards change.

So, what is your mission? What do you take pleasure in doing? Who are you?

Stepping Out Of The Mould - How I Challenged My Beliefs

Some of us grew up with images of ourselves that were anything but positive. One of the key benefits I gained from therapy was to challenge the view I had of myself. Fortunately I started therapy at a young age, 18, and since then, nothing has been the same. Here are some examples of how I changed preconceived ideas about myself and my life:

• I took for granted that I was insecure, while I was confident. 
• I though I was shy, when I was actually chatty and love public speaking! 
• I assumed I would live in Sweden, when for the past 16 years I have lived in 3 different countries, met people from all over the world and learnt a new language! 
• I thought I couldn't maintain a healthy relationship. On the contrary, I have now been married to my wonderful husband for 2 years. 
• I thought would complete my studies and then steadily build up a career in marketing. Instead, I decided to follow my passion and become a life coach and motivational speaker helping others create life changing moments.

I encourage everyone to challenge any (negative) preconceived notions that you been told by others or yourself. 

Step out of the mould that others may have tried to fit you in, and allow yourself to be that person you want to become. It starts in the head. You don't have to believe right now, just imagine. Then hold on to that vision, and make the changes necessary. That vision is going to take you places. 

You Are Your Own Best USP - 8 Lessons I Have Learnt from Being Self Employed

I was recently given the opportunity by Wenta to give a talk to entrepreneurs about the most valuable things I have learnt since I started trading. 

Below is a list of the 8 lessons I found most important. This is by no means a complete list and will surely be updated as I go along. I hope you find the compilation useful! 

1. Embrace feedback

This can be a challenging one, but is really the key to development. Welcome comments as if they were manna from heaven! 

• Be willing to adapt style, services/products
• Swallow your pride
• Listen for golden, game changing advice

2. Network at training sessions

Training events are 50/50 improving skills and making connections, no matter how interesting the sessions are!

• Avoid staying in the background
• Fellow participants are in the same boat
• People are likely to understand you
• Bond by sharing challenges & contacts
• Encourage each other
• Link on social media
• Participants can be potential clients
• Make sure you stay in touch via social media

3. Find your right forum(s)

Some people play podcasts like first fiddle, others flourish on Facebook while a third group triumph on Twitter. Find out which medium(s) work best for you and zoom in. 

• Podcast
• Presentation
• Blogging
• Videos
• Social Media (Twitter, Facebook, Instagram among others)

4. Update social media every day

Show others that you are alive and thriving. Don't leave your last update in 2012, bring it back to the future where it belongs! 

• Keep in touch with clients
• Say active and update regularly
• Share news and show you follow trends/research
• Allow people to get to know you

5. Work on the website

Your page is the window to the world and you want to make it easy to skim through. Help people quickly assess who you are in 10 seconds or less and they might stay on your page.

• Structure your page with a balance of text and images
• Social media icons need to be visible and at top and/or bottom of each page
• Use professional high quality PNG (adapt to screen size) images
• Paragraphs should be 3-5 lines maximum
• Make sure that website looks good on mobile phones

6. Be confident

When you speak with confidence, excitement and beam with positive energy, people feel it. We focus on who we can trust and respect. Be that person.

• Step into the role of the entrepreneur
• Be proud of your services/products
• You are your own best USP 

7. Tell everyone you know

Christmas, Easter and Diwali are not just holidays; they are also occasions during which you tell your nearest and dearest about your latest pursuits and ask if they know anyone who may be interested. Finally, do not, I repeat, do not under any circumstances forget your business cards. 

• Tell others about your business at family events
• Share updates with friends
• Always carry business cards 

8. Follow your passion, not your purse

I have had business advisors telling me do focus on intercultural training, while what worked best was life coaching and motivational seminars. Listen and learn, and in the end go with your gut.

• Make sure you focus on products/services you feel excited about
• Choose products/services that will keep you going during the late hours
• Focus on what you believe in 

I hope the above lessons helped. Feel free to contact me with comments or questions! 

Wish you good luck with your business! 

/ Hermine

No Light Without Darkness: Appreciating the Past

It was early in the morning and I was brushing my teeth before attending a book club meeting. Suddenly the bathroom turned purple. I looked out the window, and surely, the whole sky was covered with a beautiful light of dawn: aurora.

My thoughts stopped for a moment and I absorbed the beauty. Never before during our year long stay in the house had this happened. 

It then hit me that had I switched on the light I would not have noticed the purple dawn. Even more importantly, had it not been for the preceding cold, dark January night, I would not have been able to appreciate the lavender light. 

All of us have had dark, unpleasant experiences in the past: events caused by ourselves and other times when people have done us wrong. 

However, without those incidents we would have no comparison to where we are today. Maybe you got out of a mental health pit, and you are now able to appreciate and admire your own strength and a healthy life? 

Perhaps you were bullied at school, and later learnt how to build up your confidence and not accept abuse from others? 

You might have left an unhealthy relationship and now feel gratitude for being happy alone (rather then unhappy with someone else) and for leaving space for a better suited partner to fill. 

Without any of the preceding events above, we would be less likely to appreciate the glory of today, and how far we have come on our journey. 

Let this be an inspiration when dark times hit: I am being prepared for a better tomorrow. 

Lots of love, 

Hermine

Your Ticket to Success: How to Replace Negative Phrases

I am always amazed by the staff in the local post office and how they manage to listen to "Ticket nr xxx, please go to..." every 15-30 seconds. Personally, I would probably have enough after one day!

It suddenly hit me that I have put up with the 'ticket numbers', just in a different form: negative words.

 What is interesting is that instead of ticket numbers, many of us allow destructive phrases to play in our head, with no objection.

I used to tell myself "I have no social skills", "I am not attractive", even "I am worthless" when my depression hit really hard.

Not only would I play the phrases on repeat, but I would say them out loud. What I wasn't aware of is that when you pronounce words, you give them power.

Today I have a whole new arsenal of phrases, and they are positive. I make sure I say them to myself out loud every morning: "I am Beautiful", "I am Smart", "I am Amazing". I have even ordered Joel Osteen's 'I Declare: 31 Promises to Speak Over Your Life' for more inspiration.

Start with declaring a new phrase over yourself today (e.g. as you comb your hair, spray perfume or make the bed, to make it a routine). It most likely will feel slightly awkward, because your brain might go "What's this?", but don't let it stop you. Soon the positive phrases will come pouring out, just maybe not every 30 seconds!

This New Year, Try Something New

Hi everyone. I hope you all feel rested and refreshed after a nice Christmas holiday. I spent mine in Sweden (we even had a bit of snow on the last day!). Being Swedish I often tell my niece that my name is Elsa (it's actually my middle name) and that I am from 'Frozen-land' (although it looks more like Norway in the movie).

Today I tried something new and exciting: my first podcast! It is called 'Hermine's Hodcast' (you heard it here first!) and the first episode will centre on my personal journey of coming out of depression. It will be released very soon so keep an eye out for announcements!

Is there anything you have thought of trying this year? Maybe a new career path, a trip to a dream destination or yoga? Perhaps you're trying to stop doing something like smoking, double-checking the cooker's off or using certain negative keywords?

If so, remember that no dreams are too big, no visions are too wide and that it is possible. You may be thinking of something that looks completely "nuts", "crazy" or not like you. You may even question yourself as you are doing it.

However, just because you and/or other people weren't able to allow themselves to dream big, doesn't mean you have to be that way. If you had told me I would be recording a podcast 15 years ago, I would not have believed you. Let God lead the way. You are meant to do great things. I believe in you.

This is your year!

xxx/ Hermine

When Your House is on Fire, There are No Excuses - The Depression Denial

I sometimes get the question "What do you do if you can't afford therapy?" Well, what do you do if your house is on fire? You get out. What do you do if your child is about to cross the road and a car is coming? You reach out to save that child. It is easy to try to push things with depression, because it is not visible. It is tempting to think the following:

• “If I just wait this one out, I will be fine. I can handle it.” 
• “If I push myself and pretend things are fine, no one will find out, and I won’t risk my image.” 
• “If I just had more money, I would get help.” 

It is not as easy when the damage is physical, because with a broken leg, you can’t pretend that things are fine, and you are more motivated to seek help urgently. 

If you can't afford it, find a way. Take a loan, raise money, cut down on spending, whatever you need to do. There are also free services such as the Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) programme. Instead of delaying getting support for different reasons, ask yourself “What can I do right now, to get the help I need?”.

The main point in this blog post though, is that you do what it takes even it means having pasta with tomato sauce for two weeks, living on £5 a week for food, no clothes shopping and so on.

When you deal with mental health issues, such as depression, getting yourself better needs to be a nr 1 priority. If one doesn't seek support, the illness will continue to affect everything in life: work, friendships, family, studies and so on.

In the words of Dr Phil McGraw, "You either get it or you don't". There is never a right time to seek help. The action is initiated through the realisation that how I feel and what I do affect my life and other people to the extent, that there is no point in trying to hide/deny things; I need to get help now. What is the alternative? 

Are you living in the Past, Present or Future? - Tapes, Traps & Time Freeze

In two weeks (15 Dec) I will be holding the next motivational seminar 'Back to the Present: How to Avoid Living in the Past or Future'. This is such an important topic due to the amount of issues with mental health including depression and anxiety.

Many people either define themselves by past events and the tape becomes played over and over again in their heads, or they play the 'What if' game, alternative postpone their fulfilment.

Past events may include different forms of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual), traumas (injuries, separations), losses (job, bereavement) and so on. The events were so serious, that although time has passed, the person has frozen and is mentally reliving the events each day.

Similarly, one may be focussing too much on the future. When an opportunity presents itself, it marks the kick off of the 'What if' game: 'What if I fail?', 'What if the person gets angry', 'What if I embarrass myself' and so on.

The issue is that the 'What If' game is rarely played until the end. The actual ending of the game may look like this:

• 'What if I fail' - Then you learnt what you need to improve and you will do better next time'
• 'What if the person gets angry?' - 'If that happens, you will know you did things with good intentions and will be able to explain it to him/her.'
• 'What if I embarrass myself?' - 'People are most often more concerned about themselves, and they will forget about it very soon.'

Another futuristic trap is to believe that happiness and fulfilment is always out there; that right now things suck, but if I only get a job, find a partner, have more money, then I will be happy.

The key to all of the above is to be here now, in the present. On the 15th I will share with you the tools on how you can focus more living in the Now.

Maybe you recognise yourself in the above examples? Then I would love to see you at the seminar!

Take care,

Hermine

The Pension Prison

In the documentary 'Queen of Versailles', Jackie Siegel says that her turning point came while working at IBM. 

"I came into the office early one day and I asked my manager, "Which project are you working on?" 

He said, "I wrote my own programme to count down the years, days, months, weeks, minutes, down to the second of when I retire."

I said, "Well, why would you do that?" 

He said ,"Because that is when I am going to start living my life."  

I said, "Wow!"  

I put in my resignation."

The above recount shows a perfect example of what I call the 'Pension Prison'. It is a place where you become an inmate when your focus on time until you are "set free" to enjoy life, instead of finding ways to enjoy things now.

Your constant cellmates are Pessimism, Passivity and (Self) Pity, all of which feature in each of the examples below. I have met people who: 

• believe that they can't find another job if they leave their current position. If they managed to find a new position, it would be in a dollar store 
• Say they will never set their foot in the workplace again once they have retired, and that they will stay far away
• Focus on the things they will do when retired, while complaining about the present
• Have spent numerous year with the same employer and still complain frequently about tasks although they are part of the job specification

I have also seen big announcements by staff members on the noticeboard, about finally retiring. More than saying goodbye and showing appreciation, the messages have sounded like great exhales of relief.  

The key lesson for me is to find reasons and ways to enjoy the present moment. That is how we attract more joy, fulfillment and other things we want. When we complain and sigh heavily for each task, we attract what we don't want: boredom, negativity and passivity. 

As Eckhart Tolle puts it in 'The Power Now' 

“...the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whaterver form. Both are illusions.” 

For Pension Prisoners, retirement holds the promise of salvation ('One day I will be gone from this place. When I walk out through those doors, I will never return'). However, the only time we have is now. Tolle explains the illusion of time this way:

“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”

What if each time we dream about retirement, we lose another moment which could have been spent soaking up the present. How do we even know there will be retirement? We never know which day will be our last on Earth. There was one employee who retired after more than 40 years with the organisation and shortly after sadly passed away. I hope that he enjoyed his work.

How Weddings Reflect the Relationship between God and Us

If you asked me what my favourite type of traditional event is, I would say weddings. It may not come as a surprise. However, my fancy for weddings goes beyond the 7 layer cakes, amazing wedding dresses and white swans.

I like weddings because you get to see the true nature of two people, deciding that they will entrust someone with their heart and future, and to keep that bond for the rest of their lives.

Sounds familiar? That's exactly how I feel about my relationship with God. When I gave my life to Him, I decided that whatever I did was going to be for His glory, and that I wouldn't be afraid if it meant risking it all - or gaining it all.

It is not about being religious; it is simply acknowledging that there is a power greater than myself and that I am not here by accident.

One of my relatives got married yesterday. As the groom declared his promise to his wife of being there for her, I could tell that there was nervousness in the air; 100+ people watching him speak from his heart, and taking a new direction in his life.

Similarly, who wouldn't feel nervous declaring their commitment to God and say exactly what they felt in front of all those people? However, the bride and groom said the words, and so have I at church. After all, courage is doing something despite fear.

Next time you're at a wedding, consider that the couple up at the altar is actually God's reflection of your relationship with Him.

Don't be Afraid of the Dark

Stockholm at night. 

Darkness can be scary but it can also be comforting. Many people ask me what it was like living in the land of Nordic Noir (Sweden has ca. 4 hours of daylight in the winter (average: 5.24 hours of daylight per day)). I tell them that some people find it difficult, but that I actually find it quite nice and cosy. (It helps that my birthday and Christmas take place in the winter!).

On a dark evening, you can cuddle up in a nice chair, with some hot chocolate, a good book, and enjoy the warmth and comfort of being inside. Darkness also inspires me to invent stories: about murder mysteries, thrillers and so on. 

The cold has a tendency to sweep things away. Walking down the street in the dark, biting cold can be a solemn, quiet and peaceful experience. Warmth makes things come alive: darkness makes my thoughts come to life. I always write better in the evening, find more peace and inspiration. I can look out the window and admire the beautiful city lights of Luton.

Just like there have been dark parts of your life, they don't have to be scary or something to shy away from. If you can find a way to be inspired by that darkness, to walk in it in peace, then it can even be comforting.

Your Story is Bigger than You

We all have a story which is bigger than us. That is because our lives are not coincidental, we were planned before the beginning of time to be here and carry out our mission. 

Furthermore, we all have talents, and when we share those, you can feel the fire. Some people are like fireworks; they shoot up to the sky, before they fade away. Others keep their fire burning longer. Some people shine in the public eye, others sparkle behind the scenes. All fiery passions are equally important. 

I watched Gudrun Schyman (leader of a Swedish feminist party) talk at a rally once, and although there were only a handful of people there, I could feel the fire and passion in her speech. It didn't matter if there were 1 or 1000 people watching: she spoke for a different reason, a higher purpose. 

I hope to be able to share my passion similarly and that my fire will help you glow! On the 22nd of this month I gave a motivational seminar in Luton, and it went beyond expectations! People sharing stories and coming up to chat awards: it was simply great. 

Before each seminar I make sure I prepare, but even so, you sometimes feel a slight nervousness. However, before this session, somehow I felt really calm and focused. It was as if sharing my story and motivating others was part of something bigger. 

The session had a great flow, and I instinctively felt I knew what to say. People told me later that the session had helped change their perceptions, which was great. 

During feedback afterwards, one lady even said she wanted to hear more about certain parts, such as the similarities between depression and addiction (mentioned previously in the blog) and the 10 life lessons. 

If you want to find out more about the life lessons and other topics, there will be further sessions in the near future, including webinars! 

Hope to see you there!  

Have a nice Sunday! 

x / Hermine

Faith, Hope and Love

At the moment there is a popular reality TV series being broadcasted in Sweden, 'Tro, hopp och kärlek' ('Faith, hope and love'). It centers on 4 vicars looking for love. Each person selects 7-8 people that they want to date and find out more about (based on applications to their profiles.) During each episode the pastors get closer to their decision who they are most interested in, and consequently say goodbye to those who showed to be less of a suitable partner.

 Participants on the show 'Tro, hopp och kärlek'. Copyright: SVT

Personally, I love this type of series about people looking for love and going on dates. What I particularly like about this show is that it proves that no matter your age, people still look for love in their 50's, 60's and so on,  and still feel like "a 14 year old" when on a date.

One thing that most participants have said once they have found their match, is that they can be themselves with that person, that they feel relaxed and at ease. In addition, a common reflection is that they can talk about anything with the other person, but also just be quiet.

In a country, where almost half of the homes are single households (mostly in big cities like Stockholm, Gothenburg and Malmö), TV series like the above are becoming increasingly popular (e.g. 'Love at first sight' about people meeting for the first time at the altar, broadcasted earlier this year).

Even when you have found yourself (and God), there is still the challenge and adventure of finding the other half. That search can take place at any age, but still creates the same excitement when the destiny seems near. It is watching people never giving up that hope, that makes me get excited about a new episode each week.

Linear-active vs. Multi-active cultures: A Cinematic Case Study

Intercultural skills can help save you a lot of frustration, as I experienced last night. Me and my husband went to see 'The Walk' about wire walker Philippe Petit who made it a mission to walk between the two Twin Towers. 

Actually deciding to watch the movie meant 'walking the walk' for me, as I had shivered each time I watched the trailer, due to slight acrophobia. 

So there we were seated, munching on the Cadbury bars. About a third into the movie I noticed 3 people behind us, '4 o' clock', chatting. My guess was that they were of South Asian descent, due to accent. I tell myself it is only a few whispers, until one of their mobile phones starts flashing. As the movie gains intensity, so do their voices. My husband, in a typical English fashion, turns around and gives them a strict 'look'. 

Halfway into the movie, after constant chatting from the upper row, my husband decides to go and speak to the staff, to avoid 'causing a scene'. Again, very English. 

A member of staff enters the screen room and respectfully tells the speaking spectators to be quiet. As Petit takes his first steps on the wire, I am finally able to fully focus. 

In the above situation, anyone could easily have been frustrated. "Why can't they just be quiet?". "I've paid £10 to watch the movie, I'm going to enjoy it, d**n it". 

I don't believe the people chatting were 'naughty'; my guess is that they come from multi-active culture, e.g. India, where people often do several things at the same time (such as talking during a movie.) In linear-active cultures like the UK, people usually do one thing at a time. Just like Petit's walk, it is one step at a time on a straight line. Similarly, members of linear-active societies dislike jumping to other activities, before the former tasks have been finished. 

In multi-active cultures, many people believe that flexibility with tasks, and focus on relationships is the quicker way to reach the goal. As an example, one can look at how people queue for the bus. Queueing and not cutting in line is of very high importance in the UK, while in other places like India or Spain, people tend form a group in front of the bus entrance. 

Are you from a linear-active or multiactive culture? Do you want to find out more about how to improve your cross cultural skills? Visit my website www.herminehodson.com