3 Questions That Will Help You Find Your Purpose

Back in college I received a lot of information about career and further education. However, what I missed were some deeper, more fundamental questions about identity, vision and mission. Sometimes what we long to do is right in front of us, we have the skills and passion and our actions point in that direction. We just haven't been confronted with the right questions.

1. Who are you? 

This is a fundamental question which has nothing to do with name or profession. It is about the fundamental feature of ourselves which transpires everything we do.

If somebody had asked me this question, I would have given a standard answer: 'I am Hermine Helleday (maiden name), I am 18, I live in Stockholm...' and so on). At the same time, I was reading self help books, watching Dr Phil, Oprah Winfrey, and even political debates because I could analyse people and could listen to engaging messages.

Today I give a totally different answer. I am a Motivator. That definition influences

• my work (life coach, motivational speaker)
• my relationships with people (focused on listening, providing support, asking questions)
• what I read ('I Declare: 31 Promises over Your Life' by J. Osteen, 'Daring Greatly' by B. Brown),
• what I listen to (motivational, spiritual podcasts such as the 'RobCast' and 'What I know for sure' by Oprah Winfrey)
• what I tell myself when I am alone (make up motivational speeches in my head!) 

2. What do you enjoy doing?

When I was 18 I loved listening to lecturers in class, probably because I have always admired good public speakers. I also loved travelling and moved to Madrid, Spain at 17. Learning about a different culture, helped me understand other people.

Today I watch Ted Talks regularly, watch political debates and speeches, and love spontaneous trips to new destinations, such as Rome last week. My husband has now made it a tradition to give me a trip for my birthday (plus you can get a lot good deals in January!). Last year the destination was Valencia.

I am now able to travel and motivate people, sharing my personal story of overcoming difficulties and showing that change is possible. What could be better? Did I see myself doing this for a living at 18. Nope. But my interests certainly pointed towards that.

3. What are you about?

This is the question that relates to your tagline, your mission, what you want people to know about you, your USP if you so will. Back in my teenage days, I barely knew what tagline meant, let alone how to formulate one. However, in meetings with people such as employers and clients, the clearer picture you have of who you are and how you can contribute, the better.

As an example, Rhonda Byrne, author of bestselling 'The Secret', uses the mission statement "Bring joy to billions".

Today, my mission is:  'Help create life-changing moments'. It's your life, your moment. I help create the breakthrough, the first step towards change.

So, what is your mission? What do you take pleasure in doing? Who are you?

Your Ticket to Success: How to Replace Negative Phrases

I am always amazed by the staff in the local post office and how they manage to listen to "Ticket nr xxx, please go to..." every 15-30 seconds. Personally, I would probably have enough after one day!

It suddenly hit me that I have put up with the 'ticket numbers', just in a different form: negative words.

 What is interesting is that instead of ticket numbers, many of us allow destructive phrases to play in our head, with no objection.

I used to tell myself "I have no social skills", "I am not attractive", even "I am worthless" when my depression hit really hard.

Not only would I play the phrases on repeat, but I would say them out loud. What I wasn't aware of is that when you pronounce words, you give them power.

Today I have a whole new arsenal of phrases, and they are positive. I make sure I say them to myself out loud every morning: "I am Beautiful", "I am Smart", "I am Amazing". I have even ordered Joel Osteen's 'I Declare: 31 Promises to Speak Over Your Life' for more inspiration.

Start with declaring a new phrase over yourself today (e.g. as you comb your hair, spray perfume or make the bed, to make it a routine). It most likely will feel slightly awkward, because your brain might go "What's this?", but don't let it stop you. Soon the positive phrases will come pouring out, just maybe not every 30 seconds!

Empowering Beliefs

Last weekend I attended a Personal Coaching training event organised by the Coaching Academy. It was simply brilliant and I met lots of new people. Some people were there to improve their coaching skills in their work, and others in their roles as life coaches like me. 

The speakers were extraordinary and on fire. Some of them had gone through redundancy and realised that coaching was the right thing for them. Others had realised that they wanted a career change and taken a course. Apart from Personal Coaching, the trainers covered a wide range of types of coaching such as Confidence, Performance and Small Business Coaching. 

We talked about limiting beliefs, which essentially are beliefs that hold you back, stopping you from taking the next step towards your goal. An important part to get to your goal is to overcome those beliefs. Limiting beliefs are things you tell yourself that hold you back and stop you from taking steps towards your objective. 

The way to challenge limiting beliefs is to invent new empowering beliefs which help you take action and replace them. Here are some examples: 

Limiting belief (LB): "I won't perform as well as other people".

Empowering belief (EB): "I am not better or worse than other people". 

LB: "I don't have enough money to do xxx." 

EB: "If I don't have enough money right now, I will find a way to get more."

Do you have any limiting beliefs? How could you replace those with positive, affirmative statements?

During the training session, I noticed a quote at the bottom of our workbook page:

"Whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you can't, you're probably right." (Henry T. Ford)

We might as well believe that we can, right?