Believing is Seeing - 3 Steps to Getting What You Want

Are you a 'Seeing is Believing' or 'Believing is Seeing' type of person?

I believe strongly in the latter. Many of us define ourselves based on what we have seen in life:

• My parents got divorced, relationships are fragile, and I probably won't be able to maintain one
• I didn't get good results in school, therefore I am not very smart
• I am struggling to pay off my mortgage. I am terrible with money
• I am 25 and haven't had a relationship yet. No one will fall in love with me

The above phrases are just a few examples of things we may tell ourselves. Based on results, things must be a certain way, right?

Nope. I was told I couldn't make friends, while the real reason was I struggled with self esteem. I didn't meet my husband until I turned 30. What if during those previous years, I had given up, and thought it couldn't happen?

Feel, envision, believe

When we believe, we start seeing things. When we set a vision, feel it, believe it, we start attracting the things we want. That is why my logo consists of a staircase with 3 steps: envision, feel, believe.  Instead of just another mundane day at work, you are on path to finding the right job for you. Instead of a night without a date, you are building your confidence, getting closer to meeting that other half.

What you say to yourself matters

What you tell yourself, your thoughts, affect the energy you send out, your body language, your feelings. Perhaps the reason you haven't found a partner yet, is not because you are unattractive or 'a hopeless case' - perhaps it is because of what you believe about yourself?

Your parents may have gotten divorced. However, you are a different person. You can be the first one to change the pattern.

I know people with dyslexia and ADHD. They didn't get great results in school or enjoyed studying. However, they are as intelligent, if not more than, a lot of other people.

Change your beliefs for good

You may be finding it difficult to pay off a loan. However, letting that define your character is completely different and a big jump, compared to acknowledging that you need help. Never ever let negative experiences define your character.

Believe that things are working out for good, that you are good enough, and that these are good times.

('Seeing is Believing' was uttered by St. Thomas, and Jesus responded

"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29))

Break Free Moment - 3 Things To Declare Over Your Destiny

Creating your own realism

Some of us have lived, or live, in environments in which things seem to work against us, where we are set up for disappointment, encouraged to be 'realistic'. I don't know how many people I have spoken to who were told not to pursue a dream because it was deemed 'unrealistic'.

Similarly, some people are 'marinated' in an environment of low expectations, low fulfilment and low satisfaction, since people around them are too afraid to raise their hopes up.

Breaking Free

What I want you to know is that it is possible to break free, and create your own reality. In your world, you decide what is realistic, what you are called to do and what feels right.

I have been called names, told that career plans were unrealistic, that I didn't have social skills.

Acknowledgement is the first step towards change. When you face the fact that certain people around you bring you down rather than lift you up, you are making your first move towards setting your own standards, your own goals and your own definition of yourself
.

3 Declarations

I want something better. I deserve better. I am willing to do better.

Want to increase your confidence? Join me on 25 Feb in lovely Luton. Special introductory offer: £3! www.herminehodson.com/motivational

The Pension Prison

In the documentary 'Queen of Versailles', Jackie Siegel says that her turning point came while working at IBM. 

"I came into the office early one day and I asked my manager, "Which project are you working on?" 

He said, "I wrote my own programme to count down the years, days, months, weeks, minutes, down to the second of when I retire."

I said, "Well, why would you do that?" 

He said ,"Because that is when I am going to start living my life."  

I said, "Wow!"  

I put in my resignation."

The above recount shows a perfect example of what I call the 'Pension Prison'. It is a place where you become an inmate when your focus on time until you are "set free" to enjoy life, instead of finding ways to enjoy things now.

Your constant cellmates are Pessimism, Passivity and (Self) Pity, all of which feature in each of the examples below. I have met people who: 

• believe that they can't find another job if they leave their current position. If they managed to find a new position, it would be in a dollar store 
• Say they will never set their foot in the workplace again once they have retired, and that they will stay far away
• Focus on the things they will do when retired, while complaining about the present
• Have spent numerous year with the same employer and still complain frequently about tasks although they are part of the job specification

I have also seen big announcements by staff members on the noticeboard, about finally retiring. More than saying goodbye and showing appreciation, the messages have sounded like great exhales of relief.  

The key lesson for me is to find reasons and ways to enjoy the present moment. That is how we attract more joy, fulfillment and other things we want. When we complain and sigh heavily for each task, we attract what we don't want: boredom, negativity and passivity. 

As Eckhart Tolle puts it in 'The Power Now' 

“...the past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whaterver form. Both are illusions.” 

For Pension Prisoners, retirement holds the promise of salvation ('One day I will be gone from this place. When I walk out through those doors, I will never return'). However, the only time we have is now. Tolle explains the illusion of time this way:

“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”

What if each time we dream about retirement, we lose another moment which could have been spent soaking up the present. How do we even know there will be retirement? We never know which day will be our last on Earth. There was one employee who retired after more than 40 years with the organisation and shortly after sadly passed away. I hope that he enjoyed his work.

Who are you?

In 'Masterclass' Jay-Z once mentioned how he spent hours writing rap lyrics as a child. His mother often pointed out the importance of hard work to get somewhere, and he always pictured this being getting a job and study hard.

However, one day he realised that all the time he had spent writing rap lyrics, listening to rap etc. was actually work. He just didn't see it as such, but more like an interest or a hobby.

Do you have a hobby, something that you spend a lot of time on? If so, that could be your work, preparing you for something greater. Perhaps you've thought of all those hours in the garden or baking as just something you do for fun? Well, you could earn money having fun, because it is a passion that God has put in your heart.

I attended a development day session for women during which we were asked to create an action plan for our careers. There was a lady there who during most of the workshop, repeated that she didn't know what to do and issues with family commitments. Towards the end of the workshop, me, a colleague and her were put in a group to discuss our plans.

The above mentioned lady suddenly mentioned how she used to make over 60 cookies for her kids' school and get up early to bake bread and cakes in the morning. The rest of us were surprised at finding this out but encouraged her to tell us more. It was clear what this woman loved to do: baking! And surely, at the end of the development day, she had transformed, her facial expression turned into a smile and she excitingly exclaimed: "I am a baker!"

What do you look forward to? What feels fun and effortless? And most importantly, who are you?

Fake it until you make it

“You can put positive forces into motion ahead of you wherever you go, but you have to think ahead to do it. Before you do anything, think ahead and see yourself at the completion of the action, happy, and it being completed effortlessly. Now you can move forward.

The positive forces are at your beck and call – but you have to beckon them into your life.”

“Every time you get into a car, remember to take a couple of seconds and see yourself arriving at your destination happy and well. No matter what the trip is you are taking or the type of transportation you are using, use the power of the Universe through your intention and create a beautiful, safe  journey.”

The above quotes are from Rhonda Byrne's 'Daily Teachings', which consists of 365 messages helping you to stay positive and grateful throughout the year. I keep it at work to remind myself in tough times. The key for me in the above messages is that the mind doesn't know what is real and what isn't. So when we picture a successful car journey, feel it and believe it is already happening, our mind accepts it as real. The law of attraction means that what we focus on we attract. When we focus on an event as if it is already happening, we attract it. This power can be used each time we are about to do something; you imagine the outcome, feel it and believe it. When I was younger I once had an important exam coming up. I got a piece of paper and wrote an 'A' on it in the top corner. Interestingly enough, I actually ended up with an 'A' on that very exam! When I am about to do a training session or give a talk, I picture myself up on the floor, giving an inspirational, well received, confident speech. Afterwards, I actually look forward to the task!

Just like the mind interprets positive things as real when we focus on them, it also reads negative thoughts as real when we believe in those. Often when I am stressed, my mind drifts away and I get ideas that may seem crazy later, but in the heat of the moment seem possible. Sometimes I fear that if I am a few minutes late, someone is going to be hugely upset. This hasn't happened, but my mind wanders there and the thought becomes real. When I was younger I even worried about losing my job if I asked too many questions. What I decided to tell myself instead is that I can only do my best and that I will always be ok.

Next time you are about to give a talk, go on a trip, attend a job interview or anything else you feel ambivalent about, take a minute, close your eyes, smile and imagine the event going well and focus on the satisfying feeling of fulfillment you will have. I promise that this practice will help make the outcome you want a reality.

:) Take care!

Love,

Hermine 

When we are ready

Måns Zelmerlöw, who won big at Melodifestivalen (2015 Swedish final for Eurovision), said afterwards that as a teenager he had no ambition or goals, that he was the "laziest teen" in his hometown Lund. 

Zelmerlow at the 'Idol audition' 2005. 

As a young boy his mum forced him to sing in front of guests, and later at the age of 19, his friends convinced him to attend an audition for "Idol" (Swedish version of 'American Idol'). He came 5th, but later had a successful career as TV host throughout his 20's, until winning Melodifestivalen at 28. 

Performing winner song 'Heroes' at Melodifestivalen 2015

On the contrary, singer Sanna Nielsen, 30, who hosted Melodifestivalen this year has said, that although she wanted to host the show a few years ago, looking back, she believes she wasn't ready. 

Nielsen in 1996

Having topped the charts as an 11-year old and competed in Melodifestivalen several times, Sanna got to finally represent Sweden in last year's Eurovision, and believes that that was when the executive producer saw new sides of her, and let her host this year's show. She has also hinted that she would like to do more TV hosting and she feels that at 30 she is prepared for it.

Sanna hosting Melodifestivalen with Robin Paulsson, 2015

Interestingly the above stories are almost opposites. Måns embarked on a music career without any real motivation near the age of 20. Sanna on the other hand, was already touring before becoming a teenager. Coincidentally, both of them succeeded in the same Melodifestivalen show doing things they enjoy. It makes me think that whatever things God has planned for us, he has a set time for them. Those events will take place when we are ready whether 19 or 30, motivated or not. All we need to do is trust in Him and keep a good attitude :)