I believe strongly in the latter. Many of us define ourselves based on what we have seen in life:
- My parents got divorced, relationships are fragile, and I probably won't be able to maintain one
- I didn't get good results in school, therefore I am not very smart
- I am struggling to pay off my mortgage. I am terrible with money
- I am 25 and haven't had a relationship yet. No one will fall in love with me
The above phrases are just a few examples of things we may tell ourselves. Based on results, things must be a certain way, right?
Nope. I was told I couldn't make friends, while the real reason was I struggled with self esteem. I didn't meet my husband until I turned 30. What if during those previous years, I had given up, and thought it couldn't happen?
Feel, envision, believe

What you say to yourself matters
What you tell yourself, your thoughts, affect the energy you send out, your body language, your feelings. Perhaps the reason you haven't found a partner yet, is not because you are unattractive or 'a hopeless case' - perhaps it is because of what you believe about yourself?Your parents may have gotten divorced. However, you are a different person. You can be the first one to change the pattern.
I know people with dyslexia and ADHD. They didn't get great results in school or enjoyed studying. However, they are as intelligent, if not more than, a lot of other people.
Change your beliefs for good
You may be finding it difficult to pay off a loan. However, letting that define your character is completely different and a big jump, compared to acknowledging that you need help. Never ever let negative experiences define your character.Believe that things are working out for good, that you are good enough, and that these are good times.
('Seeing is Believing' was uttered by St. Thomas, and Jesus responded
"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29))
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