My Big Lesson on Stillness

Unexpected events tend to teach us the biggest lessons. Earlier this week I was walking into town, searching for an e-mail on my phone, when suddenly, out of the blue, a man jumped out from behind a lorry!

Surprise

It happened right in front of me, and not surprisingly, I screamed at the top of my lungs. Turned out he was one of the two scaffolding guys working on the house nearby. He apparently thought it was a fun idea to hide behind their lorry, wait until I was just about to pass, and then, "Boo!". His colleague instantly started laughing long and hard and so did a young boy who happened to pass by at the time.

I looked at the smiling guy who had tried to intimidate me, and shouted "Are you crazy? Why did you do that? Haha. Very funny!"

Aftermath

Since I was on my way to an important meeting, I tried not to think about the incident. However, even after the meeting the event was still on my mind and I called my husband to talk about it. On the way home, I took photos of the lorry and the guy who jumped out.  My husband then contacted the company and they immediately apologised and said that the person would not work with them anymore.

Lesson

Although I felt shaky that afternoon (who wouldn't after a full grown man jumps out in front of you!) I also knew that I had an important choice to make. I could either dwell in my frustration and condemn the guy who did it, or I could recognise that it was simply a stupid decision by him to joke and have some fun. Also, I had never experienced a real threat, injury or danger, and I was safe.

I decided to meditate, be mindful and acknowledge that I am here now. In addition, I wanted to acknowledge the feelings of fear and frustration, but not let them take hold of me. And it worked.

He is forgiven. I am at peace.

If you have experienced any similar lessons, let me know!

When Your House is on Fire, There are No Excuses - The Depression Denial

I sometimes get the question "What do you do if you can't afford therapy?" Well, what do you do if your house is on fire? You get out. What do you do if your child is about to cross the road and a car is coming? You reach out to save that child. It is easy to try to push things with depression, because it is not visible. It is tempting to think the following:

• “If I just wait this one out, I will be fine. I can handle it.” 
• “If I push myself and pretend things are fine, no one will find out, and I won’t risk my image.” 
• “If I just had more money, I would get help.” 

It is not as easy when the damage is physical, because with a broken leg, you can’t pretend that things are fine, and you are more motivated to seek help urgently. 

If you can't afford it, find a way. Take a loan, raise money, cut down on spending, whatever you need to do. There are also free services such as the Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) programme. Instead of delaying getting support for different reasons, ask yourself “What can I do right now, to get the help I need?”.

The main point in this blog post though, is that you do what it takes even it means having pasta with tomato sauce for two weeks, living on £5 a week for food, no clothes shopping and so on.

When you deal with mental health issues, such as depression, getting yourself better needs to be a nr 1 priority. If one doesn't seek support, the illness will continue to affect everything in life: work, friendships, family, studies and so on.

In the words of Dr Phil McGraw, "You either get it or you don't". There is never a right time to seek help. The action is initiated through the realisation that how I feel and what I do affect my life and other people to the extent, that there is no point in trying to hide/deny things; I need to get help now. What is the alternative?