Are you living in the Past, Present or Future? - Tapes, Traps & Time Freeze

In two weeks (15 Dec) I will be holding the next motivational seminar 'Back to the Present: How to Avoid Living in the Past or Future'. This is such an important topic due to the amount of issues with mental health including depression and anxiety.

Many people either define themselves by past events and the tape becomes played over and over again in their heads, or they play the 'What if' game, alternative postpone their fulfilment.

Past events may include different forms of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual), traumas (injuries, separations), losses (job, bereavement) and so on. The events were so serious, that although time has passed, the person has frozen and is mentally reliving the events each day.

Similarly, one may be focussing too much on the future. When an opportunity presents itself, it marks the kick off of the 'What if' game: 'What if I fail?', 'What if the person gets angry', 'What if I embarrass myself' and so on.

The issue is that the 'What If' game is rarely played until the end. The actual ending of the game may look like this:

• 'What if I fail' - Then you learnt what you need to improve and you will do better next time'
• 'What if the person gets angry?' - 'If that happens, you will know you did things with good intentions and will be able to explain it to him/her.'
• 'What if I embarrass myself?' - 'People are most often more concerned about themselves, and they will forget about it very soon.'

Another futuristic trap is to believe that happiness and fulfilment is always out there; that right now things suck, but if I only get a job, find a partner, have more money, then I will be happy.

The key to all of the above is to be here now, in the present. On the 15th I will share with you the tools on how you can focus more living in the Now.

Maybe you recognise yourself in the above examples? Then I would love to see you at the seminar!

Take care,

Hermine

Don't be Afraid of the Dark

Stockholm at night. 

Darkness can be scary but it can also be comforting. Many people ask me what it was like living in the land of Nordic Noir (Sweden has ca. 4 hours of daylight in the winter (average: 5.24 hours of daylight per day)). I tell them that some people find it difficult, but that I actually find it quite nice and cosy. (It helps that my birthday and Christmas take place in the winter!).

On a dark evening, you can cuddle up in a nice chair, with some hot chocolate, a good book, and enjoy the warmth and comfort of being inside. Darkness also inspires me to invent stories: about murder mysteries, thrillers and so on. 

The cold has a tendency to sweep things away. Walking down the street in the dark, biting cold can be a solemn, quiet and peaceful experience. Warmth makes things come alive: darkness makes my thoughts come to life. I always write better in the evening, find more peace and inspiration. I can look out the window and admire the beautiful city lights of Luton.

Just like there have been dark parts of your life, they don't have to be scary or something to shy away from. If you can find a way to be inspired by that darkness, to walk in it in peace, then it can even be comforting.