The Strongest Faith

During the Holocaust Remembrance Day on 27 Jan, Prince Charles read an anonymous poem that had been scratched on the wall by a Holocaust victim. The poem read:

"I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining. 

"I believe in love, even though I don't feel it. 

"I believe in God, even when he is silent."
 
I was touched by this poem as it shows two things. Firstly, the victim didn’t give up his/her faith in God despite the horrors that happened to him/her. Believing in things even when you don’t see them is the essence of faith. 

The other thing that struck me is that the writer believes that God hears him and listens to him, but is “silent”. He/she chose to believe that God is simply not responding, without assuming that God is not there or not listening.

I think we can all learn from the brief poem above, written by someone going through unimaginable suffering while showing immense strength and faith. 

Source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/history/world-war-two/11371241/Holocaust-Memorial-Day-commemorations-across-Europe-mark-70th-anniversary-of-Auschwitz-liberation-latest.html

Addiction and Depression - Similarities

I recently discovered several similarities between addiction and depression. The main inspiration came from the EFT Universe's list 'Challenges ofAddiction Treatment'. Please note that the below comments are generalisations and based on my own experience. Here we go. 

1. Cravings and Triggers

Environment, people, situations and feelings can be triggers when it comes to e.g. drug abuse. The same is true for depression. The key in both cases lies in identifying the triggers. As someone who has come out of depression the solution lied in identifying what triggered my negative thoughts of self-hate and self-doubt. 

Triggers can be a toxic home environment or other people in your life who don't treat you well. Other triggers could be social situations like parties, or feelings such as tiredness or stress. 

2. Ambivalence

The ambivalent thoughts that come to an addict's mind when giving up a drug are often:

• What will replace it? 

• Will I have to give up my friends? 

• Can I handle the withdrawal? 

(Source: http://www.eftuniverse.com/addictions/challenges-in-addiction-treatment-denial-resistance-ambivalence-cravings-and-triggers) 

Personally, my ambivalence was similar. I felt a fear of what would replace the negative thoughts and self-image that I had. Not knowing myself and how to engage in society with confidence, it was like walking the plank. Will there be other negative behaviours replacing the self-loathing thoughts? Things went well, but there were definitely times of doubt. 

The second point about friends wasn't really an issue, since I didn't have a lot of friends at the time. If there was anything to give up, it was the comfort of not facing reality. 

As for the question about withdrawal, there are definitely times during recovery where you wonder 'Will I be able to handle things on my own without therapy?'. You also want to prove to, and show people, that you have healed, that there's a new you. God knows the breakdowns, panic attacks and other reactions you have had in the past and you want to show people the new you (real you). 

3. Denial and Resistance

Most of the time I suffered from depression I also denied it. The illness had become so normalised in my life, that I thought it was part of me and that I could handle it. I think many people with mental illness do. Also, because it is not a visible illness (such as hurting your knee) you think it is easier to hide. This denial combined with others people's often lack of knowledge and/or unwillingness to reach out, can let the illness go on uncured for several years.

I believe resistance is also common among those suffering from depression. The few times I was offered help as a child, I resisted due to shame, denial and to avoid possible embarrassment. This is what I want parents to know: You MUST get your child treatment, and YES, it will include sacrifice, radical changes and help for the whole family. It is a family issue.

It all starts in the head

13 days ago I broke my knee cap. My husband and I had been out for a pre-birthday meal and on the way home I slipped on the ice. This happened in the tiny village Montgenevre in the French Alps. Next day was spent in the clinic, calling the insurance company among other things. My birthday celebration was cancelled. In addition I was told to wear a splint for 4 weeks while starting a new job. 

It was annoying and painful but I knew I had to decide on the perspective from the start. So I chose to focus on "God, what are you trying to teach me through this?".

Later I have learnt two important things:

- Dependency

I learnt to ask for help more often (e.g. getting a lift). Having lived independently for a long time and traveled alone and lived abroad, my default reaction in a tough situation has been "Too bad. I will manage. Let's move on". A few days ago I suddenly came home knackered from work after walking with the crutches all the way from home in the morning and back in the evening (ca. 45 min each way). 

My husband suggested putting a request on Facebook asking for a lift. It seemed so simple, but it was an idea that never had crossed my mind. I had simply assumed that people knew about the incident and would offer help if they felt like it. My husband's answer was "No, in this country you need to ask for things" (which is also true in life in general I believe.)

I now realise that I need to work on being ok with being dependent, and asking more often for help. It takes strength to be vulnerable! 

- A positive attitude improves healing

Four days after the accident, two out of the three fractures had already healed. I had tried not to moan and complain about the situation and my husband really liked that. I decided to look at it as only temporary and a life lesson. 10 days later I was able to walk at pretty much a normal pace (with the help of crutches) and today, I can finally bend the knee up and down without pain. I hope and believe that by focusing my thoughts on the horizon and not complain, that my knee was able to heal a bit quicker. 

As Rhonda Byrne says in 'The Secret', what you focus on you attract. I want to keep the floodgates of God's blessings open by staying positive!

(Below I am enjoying a delicious a tiramisu at the Turin airport, before speeding through customs :))

Getting De-caffeinated!

I hope you have had a nice, relaxing Christmas break, and are ready to start the New Year!

I recently read about Mind's 10 Day challenge and decided to stay off caffeine for a year! Caffeine is well-known for increasing feelings of stress and anxiety and worsen conditions for people suffering from mental illness.

In fact, one of the main advice from Mind is to avoid caffeine (in addition to alcohol and other substances) to speed up recovery.

I will avoid tea and coffee (with caffeine), energy drinks and painkillers containing caffeine, basically anything containing, you guessed it, caffeine! I would really appreciate if you could support Mind by donating here.

Thanks for all your support!

All the best,

Hermine