Dare to reach high

Dr Hannah Fry recently appeared on the swedish talk show 'Skavlan'. Talking about dating, she said that it is always better to go out and meet people when you are single, because then you get the best person out of those you approached, rather than the best individual out of those who came to you.

I believe this is true for other areas. E.g. if you are looking for work it is often better to be active and try for those jobs you want, rather than accepting one that just 'came your way'. It might be scary to take the risk and apply for that dream position, but as they say, "all you can get is a no".

Some people end up feeling like victims simply because they feel they feel they "had" to take a certain job, rather than "wanted" to.

The more you dare reaching for the stars you want to get to, the more likely it is that  you will find that spot that fits you perfectly.

When we are ready

Måns Zelmerlöw, who won big at Melodifestivalen (2015 Swedish final for Eurovision), said afterwards that as a teenager he had no ambition or goals, that he was the "laziest teen" in his hometown Lund. 

Zelmerlow at the 'Idol audition' 2005. 

As a young boy his mum forced him to sing in front of guests, and later at the age of 19, his friends convinced him to attend an audition for "Idol" (Swedish version of 'American Idol'). He came 5th, but later had a successful career as TV host throughout his 20's, until winning Melodifestivalen at 28. 

Performing winner song 'Heroes' at Melodifestivalen 2015

On the contrary, singer Sanna Nielsen, 30, who hosted Melodifestivalen this year has said, that although she wanted to host the show a few years ago, looking back, she believes she wasn't ready. 

Nielsen in 1996

Having topped the charts as an 11-year old and competed in Melodifestivalen several times, Sanna got to finally represent Sweden in last year's Eurovision, and believes that that was when the executive producer saw new sides of her, and let her host this year's show. She has also hinted that she would like to do more TV hosting and she feels that at 30 she is prepared for it.

Sanna hosting Melodifestivalen with Robin Paulsson, 2015

Interestingly the above stories are almost opposites. Måns embarked on a music career without any real motivation near the age of 20. Sanna on the other hand, was already touring before becoming a teenager. Coincidentally, both of them succeeded in the same Melodifestivalen show doing things they enjoy. It makes me think that whatever things God has planned for us, he has a set time for them. Those events will take place when we are ready whether 19 or 30, motivated or not. All we need to do is trust in Him and keep a good attitude :) 

Insight

I recently listened to a documentary about one of the most infamous criminals in Swedish history, Lars-Inge Svartenbrandt, today Lars Patrick Ferm. He committed a range of crimes including robberies, violent assault on policemen and prison escapes between 1962 and 2009. Born in 1945, he has spent about 40 years of his life in prison. 

Ferm was recently released in early 2014, but arrested shortly afterwards for rape. The interview I listened to was broadcasted in December 2006. In the following years, Ferm would get arrested for robbery and drug possession among other crimes.

Having listened to ex-offenders on radio before, I wasn’t sure what to expect as each one shows different level of insight.

I was immediately struck by the insight of Ferm, as he started off by talking about his childhood in a very open manner. Hearing about his early years, I was not surprised that he ended up choosing the path he did. Moving between different homes, being physically and mentally abused, bullied, molested and isolated, the anger and devastation built up until things took a radical turn when he became 17 and grabbed a gun to threaten someone at a break in of a military warehouse. Lars described it as “evil” taking over his body, his voice changed, and everything happened very quickly.

What touched me was that through the mental health care he received while in prison and with the help of a priest, he was able to see how events in his past had contributed to the anger, resentment and determination not to look “weak”. It seemed liked the worse the crimes got, the weaker he felt inside and therefore the need to boost himself up got bigger.

There was one incident where he shot at a police van. The event is described by a police officer as bloody, violent and Ferm showing no mercy. The same incident is also told by Ferm where he says that he felt “evil” took over him and transformed him, adding that he didn’t plan to kill anyone, he just threatened people.

The differences in the stories shows how the same incident can be viewed from very different perspectives, and just because a criminal appears hardhearted, that may not be his/her perception.

While mostly quiet during interrogations and in court, Ferm apologised to one of his victims, after being told by a therapist he trusted that "You may not say anything in court, but I think you should apologise to this woman." Someone who met Ferm frequently said that he "actually had a conscience".

In the late 80's/early 90's the Minister of Justice announced that some people couldn't be helped and should stay in prison indefinitely. According to Ferm, this idea made him panic since he couldn't stand prison. He subsequently attempted to take his own life but couldn't do it. Then he asked God for help, and he said that after that moment he just felt joy and peace for several months, and that it became a turning point.

It is true that Ferm would commit further serious, terrible crimes. To me what fascinated me about the interview is the insight he showed into the links between events in his childhood and how he behaved later in life. He was able to describe in great detail, the anger, sadness and fear felt even during the most heated moments such as during a robbery, such as wishing the police would shoot him, and getting disappointed when they didn't.

No one knows what the future holds for him, but he has offered an insight into a mind plagued by darkness, and how that darkness can, if only temporarily, be replaced by peace through understanding and God's light. 

Click here to listen to the interview (in Swedish). 

(Source: http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lars-Inge_Svartenbrandt)  

The Master-plan

This Friday I finished work 30 minutes early and decided to make the most of it and head to the mall asap. On the way I dropped my scarf and had to go back to the office to look for it. Perhaps I left it on the rack? Nope, nowhere to be found. I checked one of the bathrooms. Not there either. 

Finally after heading down to the main university reception, I spotted it on the desk. I checked the clock and noticed I had spent almost 15 min looking for it!

I felt annoyed and headed to Wilkinsons to get some snacks. When I was about to pop my card in to pay, I noticed that the young lady before me had left her credit card in the machine. I grabbed the card, rushed out shouting "Excuse me!". The lady turned around, got her card and thanked me dearly. 

Looking back, had I not lost my scarf at the university, I would not have been at Wilkinson's earlier behind the lady and spotting the card. Who knows who else would have seen it and what they would have done?

This story reminded me that God has a plan with everything we do. If you miss the bus or an appointment, don't spend time being frustrated and disappointed. Maybe you were meant to miss that bus because another important event is taking place down the line? Instead, try and thank God for working in your life behind the scenes. He wants what is best for you. He's got a Master-plan. 

Do you have a similar story?

Home is where your heart is

After Andreas Weise performed in the Swedish selection for Eurovision ('Melodifestivalen') I found a clip (in swedish) with him on Youtube. The clip is from when he participated in 'Idol' (Swedish version of American Idol/X-Factor) and showed his house:

Interviewer: "What is this?"
Andrease Weise: "This is the street where I live, and it is not a palace as you can see."
Interviewer: "No, it is not Strandvägen."
AW: "No."

I thought about why Weise felt he had to point out that it wasn't a palace. Perhaps he felt that because he was competing in Idol and now famous, people expected him to live in an affluent area.

I also noticed how the interviewer pointed out that it wasn't Strandvägen (see image), once named by a newspaper as the wealthiest street in the country due to the amount of millionaires living there.

I would have told Weise that if he was happy/unhappy in his home, he would have been happy/unhappy on Strandvägen. I grew up on Strandvägen, and no matter how beautiful, affluent and sought-after the boulevard is, I was still depressed and a lot of the time I was angry, bitter and barely had any friends while living there.

When I was in midde school my teacher would point out, in front of the class, that I lived on Strandvägen. Back in those days, I didn't fully understand why he did that. However, once I read the newspaper story mentioned earlier, I realised how other people valued the location.

If someone offered me a flat on Strandvägen, would I turn it down? No way. It is a lovely avenue, and the most beautiful one in Stockholm in my opinion. However, it is also a relief to know that my geographical location didn't make me happier, and that the importance other people gave my home street, didn't improve my mood or situation. Today I don't feel the need to strive to live in a wealthy area, believing that it will solve any issues, or make me happier. I believe that it doesn't matter where we live as long as we feel safe and fulfilled. We have all we need to be happy today. My home is with God and my husband.