The Power of the Mind

I recently assisted at a University recruitment event. One of my colleagues mentioned he hadn't slept well the previous night. He explained that he had shoulder pain, despite nothing being wrong with his shoulder. It turned out that he had had an accident in the past which had created severe pain, and even after recovering, his nerves were still sending pain signals to the brain, despite there being very little or no cause. It was as if his body had memorised the feeling and kept reacting despite there being no sign of hurt.

He also told me that the doctors had tried to figure out where in the nerve system the signals were disconnected (thereby failing to create accurate reactions) but couldn't find it.

This reminded me of the anxiety I sometimes have in certain situations, despite there being no threat or danger. An example would be a social event, where I fear that a person may say something hurtful. It is as if my body goes into lockdown mode, my stomach (the organ which most resembles the state of your brain) gets tense, and sometimes I almost feel like crying. I can't pinpoint exactly where the fear is coming from, I just know there have been events in the past where I have felt helpless and have no control. Even if there is just a hint of someone being blunt, my body goes into defense mode sometimes.

Power of the Mind

As mentioned in the previous blog post, the key in these moments is to acknowledge that you are feeling vulnerable, speak to someone you trust and if necessary, take a break and remove yourself temporarily from the situation. If the reactions persist and hinder you from socialising, seek help. Whatever you do, avoid isolation and shame. You can get through this.

It is fully understandable that your body has memorised strong events, and created strong reactions to protect you. It is a great thing to have that defensive reaction in crucial situations. However, your mind and body can be trained into preserving that for when it really matters and enable you to trust yourself and be relaxed in your everyday life.

Vulnerability

Recently, I have been reading Brené Brown's "Daring Greatly and the Importance of Vulnerability" (2012). Vulnerability is such an essential feature when it comes to growing, and connecting with people. Simply acknowledging when we feel that we are out on a rope takes us forward:

"From the field of health psychology, studies show that perceived vulnerability, meaning the ability to acknowledge our risks and exposure, greatly increases our chances of adhering to some kind of positive health regimen"..."What makes this really interesting is that the critical issue is not about our actual level of vulnerability, but the level at which we acknowledge our vulnerabilities around a certain illness or threat." 

Similarly, in the Bible it says: 

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

   Dr Brené Brown

If we acknowledge when we feel weak and vulnerable, and rest in that feeling, avoiding blaming others, we will grow stronger. Brown clarifies that vulnerability is not weakness (e.g. asking (when insecure) a friend whose relative passed away if the friend is ok would be viewed as courage and strength, not weakness.) I believe by "weaknesses" Paul means tough situations, in which it is important to be open and delight in your vulnerability.

Being vulnerable is doing things that appear intimidating, opening up to potential hurt believing that that is right thing to do and that you are good enough.

As the Bible quote above states, God's power is made perfect in weakness. If we take the risks, open up and enter the arena, then we will be rewarded. We are sharpened like diamonds in tough situations if we acknowledge when we feel pain and shame, avoid finger-pointing and gain insights.

God's grace is sufficient for us, even when we are vulnerable, so there is nothing to fear.

Additionally, by being self-assured in tough moments and trusting our worth, we help others feel relaxed too.

Next time you feel that you are removing your shield, acknowledge the feeling and declare "I am a Masterpiece, God's child. No weapon formed against me will prosper. I am perfectly fine as I am. Thank you God for making me stronger."