Intercultural Training and Life Coaching

I am in the business of culture and confidence. Through intercultural training I help organisations develop their communication skills (incl. negotiation, etiquette, body language) and cultural knowledge to strengthen relationships with partners and clients across cultures.

Confidence is an essential part when dealing with someone from a different culture; understanding the values, social codes and business etiquette rules helps you navigate safely when doing business abroad.

Confidence is also key part of what I do, since it is often a missing piece of the puzzle when taking a new direction in your life. By having someone there to listen to you, taking you seriously, create action plans, and follow up on your progress, your confidence increases significantly. 

When I arrived to Spain in 1999, I was unaware of cultural differences, since I had never been therefore. The first year I felt intimidated because I thought everyone was talking so loud, and gesticulating so much! Little did I know that the high expression of feelings in Spain were signs of sincerity. The more I held back, the more it looked like I was covering up, or hiding something. The more emotions you show, the more you give the impression of showing your pure self! 

After a couple of years I stopped feeling alarmed and adapted instead, to "survive". As a modest Swede, it was challenging to express more emotions, but boosting myself  up brought confidence being in Castilian territory. 

After having spent several years in the Spanish capital, my voice will now instantly rise, and my hands will start moving each time I speak Spanish! 

Your "particular set of skills"

Everyone has talent, a purpose in life to fulfill. However, discovering that talent and your niche market in life can be challenging. Some people are still looking for that special skill that they can zoom in on in their 50’s, and others seem to know what it is when they are 5. No matter how long it takes to find it, there is something out there that you are really good at.

Earlier this year, Dagens Nyheter (Swedish newspaper) wrote that Eric Schüldt, a Swedish radio show host received the Lagercrantz award earlier this year for his Saturday morning hit programme (among other projects) where he comments on mainly classical music.

After the award was announced journalist Åsa Beckman came to visit him. She had pictured Schüldt’s living room full of music sheet, busts of famous composers and records. Upon arrival, Beckman noted that on the contrary, the living room was “white and naked like a monastery cell. A piece of harsh ryebread, Marcel Proust’s ‘In Search of Lost Time’ on the workdesk plus a Russian Orthodox image of Christ. The only object which doesn’t look ascetic is a swivel chair in 70’s kitsch leather imitation with ditto foot stool.”

Schüldt said that that is where he sits and selects music for his show. He also stated that he prefers listening to music in earphones, rather than attending concerts, because then he feels that the music speaks just to him. During his university studies in journalism, he didn’t do well when it came to writing news stories, doing reports and so on. The only thing he was good at was good at was radio. The first time someone reacted positively on what he did was when he did radio broadcasts for a student channel.

As I read the article, I thought “Wow, there really is something for everyone.” I was impressed and fascinated by how Schüldt kept working at what he was good at, radio, and even more, analysing classical music, a true niche are in today’s music scene.

Our job is to keep testing, keep trying new things, until things click, someone comments on our talent, and that feedback gives us a hint. You may not be interested in the traditional areas of work, but there is always something you can excel in, even such specialised things such as listening to music in a white room.

"Fame is other people's perception of who you are"

As I was reading Markus 'Notch' Persson tweets earlier, I was reminded of the phrase stated by Oprah Winfrey regarding fame: "Fame is other people's perception of who you are." In other words, you can never experience yourself the same way another person would.

Persson is the founder of the famous online videogame 'Minecraft' in which you use blocks (similar to lego) to build anything you want. The game has won several awards and the company behind the game, Mojang, was bought by Microsoft in 2014 for $2.5 billion (£1.5 billion).

The purchase dramatically turned around Persson's life and he soon purchased a mansion in Beverly Hills for $70 million (ca. £45 million), outbidding Jay-Z and Beyonce.

While many of us look up to the lifestyle of the rich and famous, we are still observers. However, if we were in their shoes, would we still experience things in a positive way?

I think the tweet below speaks volumes about the joy and adventure being in the journey, not the destination.

Markus PerssonVerified account‏@notch

The problem with getting everything is you run out of reasons to keep trying, and human interaction becomes impossible due to imbalance.

• RETWEETS1,712
• FAVOURITES2,586
• 

2:48 a.m. - 29 Aug 2015

Some years ago, I received a large sum of insurance money due to a dog bite in Italy. I love shopping and treating myself once a month after I get my paycheck. I even like window shopping since I get to plan what I will buy next.

However, after I received the lump sum, the excitement of buying one of those pretty expensive dresses, just vanished. It was as if when I knew I could by the dress (and the shoes, necklace, bag), I no longer sought the objects, they became every day things. As Persson stated, I was no longer trying, I had the money.

If I suddenly started earning millions and was hanging on Ibiza with celebrities, how would I know which ones were interested in me as a person, and which ones were interested in the money? Suddenly there's an imbalance.

I believe the key to keep oneself grounded is to do something for work, that you would do even if you weren't earning a penny, to have people around you who knew you before you acquired your wealth and will treat you the same way as before, and remember that happiness comes from the inside wherever we are in life.

Blue space, green space

I am a big fan of Dr Sonal Minocha, former Executive Dean at the University of Bedfordshire Business School. She was the winner of 'Asian Academic of the Year' at the Asian Voice Political and Public Life Awards in 2013, and shortlisted for the award 'Woman of the Year' at the 2012 Asian Achievers Awards.

Not only does she have an impressive background, but also a greatly inspiring way of thinking.

A few years ago I attended a department meeting at the University. Dr Minocha was giving a talk, and it completely surprised me by the amount of vision and innovation that transcended her presentation.

One of the things Dr Minocha mentioned was the difference between "green space" and "blue space". The "green space" (grass, ground) is the area where a lot of people reside, with limiting beliefs, focusing on what is practical and realistic.

The "blue space" (sky) represents an 'out of the box' mentality, 'sky's the limit' thinking, persistence and hope. Focusing on the "blue space" requires courage and faith that can lift your wings. At the same time the area has no limits.

When I re-visited the Business School after working for the Faculty of Health and Social Sciences, I noticed that the previously white walls had been redecorated which inspirational quotes and photos of staff and students. My guess is Dr Minocha helped initiate the change. Near the entrance is one of my favourite quotes:

While I have attended several university seminars, Dr Minocha's speech was certainly one which stood out, and her admirable resume, shows that she believes in, and is an excellent example, of the success of the 'blue space' mentality.

The Waiting Game

I believe that to feel fulfilled in life one sometimes needs to take big risks. Like my husband said about having a plan B: "Sometimes you  need a 'plan G' - God's plan. Taking the step and starting your own business, or moving abroad can seem daunting, but not taking the step could leave you unfulfilled and 'lost in life'.

I also believe sticking to the 'G plan' means living in the present and finding peace and joy inside, aware that we are not our possessions or our performance at work.

When we don't take the step to follow a higher purpose for our life, we risk end up in a 'Waiting Game' that ends up controlling our life: waiting for Friday, waiting for the weekend, waiting for payday, summer, Christmas, holiday, graduation, pension, finding a partner... you know the dealio. Just fill in the blanks.

Many lives become shaped after the 'Waiting' rulebook, which basically says "Work hard and await your turn to enjoy life off work." Research shows that not only are people happier on weekends but also experience fewer aches and more energy between Friday evening and Sunday afternoon.

However, as stated in the wide known book 'The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment' (Eckhart Tolle, 2004) all we have is the present moment:

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” 

“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time—past and future—the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.”  

After having read Tolle's work, I am determined not to end up in 'Waiting Game' but to practise being here right now, turning down the volume of my thoughts and focusing more on the silent space between breaths.