When Your House is on Fire, There are No Excuses - The Depression Denial

I sometimes get the question "What do you do if you can't afford therapy?" Well, what do you do if your house is on fire? You get out. What do you do if your child is about to cross the road and a car is coming? You reach out to save that child. It is easy to try to push things with depression, because it is not visible. It is tempting to think the following:

• “If I just wait this one out, I will be fine. I can handle it.” 
• “If I push myself and pretend things are fine, no one will find out, and I won’t risk my image.” 
• “If I just had more money, I would get help.” 

It is not as easy when the damage is physical, because with a broken leg, you can’t pretend that things are fine, and you are more motivated to seek help urgently. 

If you can't afford it, find a way. Take a loan, raise money, cut down on spending, whatever you need to do. There are also free services such as the Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) programme. Instead of delaying getting support for different reasons, ask yourself “What can I do right now, to get the help I need?”.

The main point in this blog post though, is that you do what it takes even it means having pasta with tomato sauce for two weeks, living on £5 a week for food, no clothes shopping and so on.

When you deal with mental health issues, such as depression, getting yourself better needs to be a nr 1 priority. If one doesn't seek support, the illness will continue to affect everything in life: work, friendships, family, studies and so on.

In the words of Dr Phil McGraw, "You either get it or you don't". There is never a right time to seek help. The action is initiated through the realisation that how I feel and what I do affect my life and other people to the extent, that there is no point in trying to hide/deny things; I need to get help now. What is the alternative? 

Are you living in the Past, Present or Future? - Tapes, Traps & Time Freeze

In two weeks (15 Dec) I will be holding the next motivational seminar 'Back to the Present: How to Avoid Living in the Past or Future'. This is such an important topic due to the amount of issues with mental health including depression and anxiety.

Many people either define themselves by past events and the tape becomes played over and over again in their heads, or they play the 'What if' game, alternative postpone their fulfilment.

Past events may include different forms of abuse (physical, emotional, sexual), traumas (injuries, separations), losses (job, bereavement) and so on. The events were so serious, that although time has passed, the person has frozen and is mentally reliving the events each day.

Similarly, one may be focussing too much on the future. When an opportunity presents itself, it marks the kick off of the 'What if' game: 'What if I fail?', 'What if the person gets angry', 'What if I embarrass myself' and so on.

The issue is that the 'What If' game is rarely played until the end. The actual ending of the game may look like this:

• 'What if I fail' - Then you learnt what you need to improve and you will do better next time'
• 'What if the person gets angry?' - 'If that happens, you will know you did things with good intentions and will be able to explain it to him/her.'
• 'What if I embarrass myself?' - 'People are most often more concerned about themselves, and they will forget about it very soon.'

Another futuristic trap is to believe that happiness and fulfilment is always out there; that right now things suck, but if I only get a job, find a partner, have more money, then I will be happy.

The key to all of the above is to be here now, in the present. On the 15th I will share with you the tools on how you can focus more living in the Now.

Maybe you recognise yourself in the above examples? Then I would love to see you at the seminar!

Take care,

Hermine