My Big Lesson on Stillness

Unexpected events tend to teach us the biggest lessons. Earlier this week I was walking into town, searching for an e-mail on my phone, when suddenly, out of the blue, a man jumped out from behind a lorry!

Surprise

It happened right in front of me, and not surprisingly, I screamed at the top of my lungs. Turned out he was one of the two scaffolding guys working on the house nearby. He apparently thought it was a fun idea to hide behind their lorry, wait until I was just about to pass, and then, "Boo!". His colleague instantly started laughing long and hard and so did a young boy who happened to pass by at the time.

I looked at the smiling guy who had tried to intimidate me, and shouted "Are you crazy? Why did you do that? Haha. Very funny!"

Aftermath

Since I was on my way to an important meeting, I tried not to think about the incident. However, even after the meeting the event was still on my mind and I called my husband to talk about it. On the way home, I took photos of the lorry and the guy who jumped out.  My husband then contacted the company and they immediately apologised and said that the person would not work with them anymore.

Lesson

Although I felt shaky that afternoon (who wouldn't after a full grown man jumps out in front of you!) I also knew that I had an important choice to make. I could either dwell in my frustration and condemn the guy who did it, or I could recognise that it was simply a stupid decision by him to joke and have some fun. Also, I had never experienced a real threat, injury or danger, and I was safe.

I decided to meditate, be mindful and acknowledge that I am here now. In addition, I wanted to acknowledge the feelings of fear and frustration, but not let them take hold of me. And it worked.

He is forgiven. I am at peace.

If you have experienced any similar lessons, let me know!

The Timeless Temptations - Your Time is Now

Some people shoot to the sky like fireworks, before fading away. They can give you sunshine on a cloudy day. And when the world feels like a ball of confusion, they make you feel like you are on cloud nine. 

Timeless Time Machines

I am sure you also have people you admire, who have set new trends, transformed their field and broken new ground. For me, those people include the Temptations. The group recorded multiple classics ('My Girl', 'Get Ready', 'Papa was a Rolling Stone' among many others). Every time I listen to the above group, they take me back to the mid 60's to early 70's, as if my headphones were a time machine. At the same time their music is timeless. 

Creating "magic"

The other day I wanted to find out what happened to the members. It was a sad surprise to find out that four (David Ruffin, Melvin Franklin, Paul Williams, Eddie Kendricks) of the original five members had already passed away due to drug addiction, suicide and health issues. 

The one remaining original member, Otis Williams said that "there was a magic, that will never be had like that of the original five."

Shoot for the stars

Now when I listen to their music, I appreciate what the group managed to achieve even more. There were struggles, members who eventually left, but for a few years, together they managed to create magic. 

We can do the same. We can shoot for the stars in our fields, leave a mark and create fireworks that will light up the sky for those who come after us. We just need to use our skills to best of our ability, take chances and remember that our time is now. 

The 4 Power Principles

1. Purpose

First thing, we need to figure out where we are heading, what is driving us in that direction. Who are you? What are you about? What defines you? What is your mission?

In life coaching one of the keys is to start by setting a goal. This is important, but I would argue that a purpose is beyond the next 6 months, 12 months, 24 months. A purpose has do to with your spirit, drive, your essence - what are you about?

As an entrepreneur, I have lost count of the times that I've been out on a limb putting myself in new situations (attending networking meetings on my own, featuring on videos and so on). What helps in those situations is to reconnect with my purpose; the bottom line, the real reason I am there.

I am about motivation - not just for a month or year, but for a lifetime. That self definition can be applied in a number of settings. This is when we get to create a plan.

2. Plan

How are you going to make best use of your purpose? How is it best reflected? What makes you shine? How can you serve? Which steps can you take today? By when do you expect to achieve those steps? Who can support you and help you flourish?

No man is an island, and over the course of starting my business, I have had a lot of help, and opportunities from business networks, my partner and mentor. Since I work from home, I set daily objectives, weekly and monthly not to mention a 3 year plan. The common denominator for all those plans is that I get to be my best, doing what I love - motivate.

In order to activate the plan, we need to be our own motivation machine. When times get tough, we can use that extra battery of...

3. Positive Thinking

A limitless life requires a limitless mindset. 

When we tell ourselves 'I don't know' over and over again, what result do we get? I don't know. Ask yourself 'If I did know what it was, what would it be?'. 

Also, don't take good words from granted. If some of us spent at least half the energy we use on criticising and downplaying ourselves, then our lives would change significantly for the better. Having gone through depression I have learnt the hard way the positive self compliments don't always come easily. That's why my morning mantra is 'I am Beautiful, Smart and Amazing'. I encourage you to create one too! 

You are the child of God and to do what you are meant to do, there is no time for self pity, only self power. 

4. Peace

Figuring out your purpose, plan and positive thinking requires stillness; the ability to listen to ourselves and what we need. Not just in terms of physical health but mental as well. 

Whether it is through mindfulness or other forms of mediation, prayer, playing with your children, reading a book, a walk in the park, exercising at the gym, running, whatever it is, we need to recharge our batteries. 

There are ebbs and floods in life, and taking time to be silent or doing a fun activity, and letting you thoughts float by like clouds on a blue sky is essential to our wellbeing and accomplishing the things we want in life. 

As you will see on my website, all of the seminar & workshops relate to the above topics in one way or the other. 

You are very welcome to attend my next seminar '10 Life Lessons I Learnt at the Gym' on 15 March!

If you want to find out more, contact me today. Take the first step towards change!  

Lots of love

Hermine 

Making the Decision - My Move to Madrid

When we decide, the magic starts. When we decide, we let God work in our lives. When we decide, we open up to blessings.

One of the worst, most frustrating places to be is on a fence. It is safe, but it can wear you down.

You know that feeling deep inside, that yearning feeling, that wants you to move on, aim higher, develop, expand, increase and go further. Maybe you can't put your finger on what you are meant to do, but you want change.

Moving to Madrid

I have been there. When I moved to Madrid as a teenager, I was ready for change. I had put my foot down. I knew I deserved more and better. As one of my teachers said, "This is your time to bloom'.

My main goal was to get therapy. I knew that I wanted to feel better, regain self esteem and taste freedom. I barely spoke the language, moved 7 times within the first 3 months and at the same time was trying to find work. I handed out newspapers, sold gingerbread & mulled wine at IKEA and other jobs until started studying Spanish at a University. After completing the studies, I worked as an English Teacher.

Build your strength

The key to getting well was making the decision; not knowing in detail how things were going to plan out, but believing in the overarching goal: recovery.

Many people prefer to travel together, explore together. However, don't be afraid to step out on your own. It is the situations when you have no one to turn to, that will truly build your strength.

So, don't worry if you can't see the next steps. Just make sure you get on the staircase.

Believing is Seeing - 3 Steps to Getting What You Want

Are you a 'Seeing is Believing' or 'Believing is Seeing' type of person?

I believe strongly in the latter. Many of us define ourselves based on what we have seen in life:

• My parents got divorced, relationships are fragile, and I probably won't be able to maintain one
• I didn't get good results in school, therefore I am not very smart
• I am struggling to pay off my mortgage. I am terrible with money
• I am 25 and haven't had a relationship yet. No one will fall in love with me

The above phrases are just a few examples of things we may tell ourselves. Based on results, things must be a certain way, right?

Nope. I was told I couldn't make friends, while the real reason was I struggled with self esteem. I didn't meet my husband until I turned 30. What if during those previous years, I had given up, and thought it couldn't happen?

Feel, envision, believe

When we believe, we start seeing things. When we set a vision, feel it, believe it, we start attracting the things we want. That is why my logo consists of a staircase with 3 steps: envision, feel, believe.  Instead of just another mundane day at work, you are on path to finding the right job for you. Instead of a night without a date, you are building your confidence, getting closer to meeting that other half.

What you say to yourself matters

What you tell yourself, your thoughts, affect the energy you send out, your body language, your feelings. Perhaps the reason you haven't found a partner yet, is not because you are unattractive or 'a hopeless case' - perhaps it is because of what you believe about yourself?

Your parents may have gotten divorced. However, you are a different person. You can be the first one to change the pattern.

I know people with dyslexia and ADHD. They didn't get great results in school or enjoyed studying. However, they are as intelligent, if not more than, a lot of other people.

Change your beliefs for good

You may be finding it difficult to pay off a loan. However, letting that define your character is completely different and a big jump, compared to acknowledging that you need help. Never ever let negative experiences define your character.

Believe that things are working out for good, that you are good enough, and that these are good times.

('Seeing is Believing' was uttered by St. Thomas, and Jesus responded

"Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29))

Break Free Moment - 3 Things To Declare Over Your Destiny

Creating your own realism

Some of us have lived, or live, in environments in which things seem to work against us, where we are set up for disappointment, encouraged to be 'realistic'. I don't know how many people I have spoken to who were told not to pursue a dream because it was deemed 'unrealistic'.

Similarly, some people are 'marinated' in an environment of low expectations, low fulfilment and low satisfaction, since people around them are too afraid to raise their hopes up.

Breaking Free

What I want you to know is that it is possible to break free, and create your own reality. In your world, you decide what is realistic, what you are called to do and what feels right.

I have been called names, told that career plans were unrealistic, that I didn't have social skills.

Acknowledgement is the first step towards change. When you face the fact that certain people around you bring you down rather than lift you up, you are making your first move towards setting your own standards, your own goals and your own definition of yourself
.

3 Declarations

I want something better. I deserve better. I am willing to do better.

Want to increase your confidence? Join me on 25 Feb in lovely Luton. Special introductory offer: £3! www.herminehodson.com/motivational

3 Questions That Will Help You Find Your Purpose

Back in college I received a lot of information about career and further education. However, what I missed were some deeper, more fundamental questions about identity, vision and mission. Sometimes what we long to do is right in front of us, we have the skills and passion and our actions point in that direction. We just haven't been confronted with the right questions.

1. Who are you? 

This is a fundamental question which has nothing to do with name or profession. It is about the fundamental feature of ourselves which transpires everything we do.

If somebody had asked me this question, I would have given a standard answer: 'I am Hermine Helleday (maiden name), I am 18, I live in Stockholm...' and so on). At the same time, I was reading self help books, watching Dr Phil, Oprah Winfrey, and even political debates because I could analyse people and could listen to engaging messages.

Today I give a totally different answer. I am a Motivator. That definition influences

• my work (life coach, motivational speaker)
• my relationships with people (focused on listening, providing support, asking questions)
• what I read ('I Declare: 31 Promises over Your Life' by J. Osteen, 'Daring Greatly' by B. Brown),
• what I listen to (motivational, spiritual podcasts such as the 'RobCast' and 'What I know for sure' by Oprah Winfrey)
• what I tell myself when I am alone (make up motivational speeches in my head!) 

2. What do you enjoy doing?

When I was 18 I loved listening to lecturers in class, probably because I have always admired good public speakers. I also loved travelling and moved to Madrid, Spain at 17. Learning about a different culture, helped me understand other people.

Today I watch Ted Talks regularly, watch political debates and speeches, and love spontaneous trips to new destinations, such as Rome last week. My husband has now made it a tradition to give me a trip for my birthday (plus you can get a lot good deals in January!). Last year the destination was Valencia.

I am now able to travel and motivate people, sharing my personal story of overcoming difficulties and showing that change is possible. What could be better? Did I see myself doing this for a living at 18. Nope. But my interests certainly pointed towards that.

3. What are you about?

This is the question that relates to your tagline, your mission, what you want people to know about you, your USP if you so will. Back in my teenage days, I barely knew what tagline meant, let alone how to formulate one. However, in meetings with people such as employers and clients, the clearer picture you have of who you are and how you can contribute, the better.

As an example, Rhonda Byrne, author of bestselling 'The Secret', uses the mission statement "Bring joy to billions".

Today, my mission is:  'Help create life-changing moments'. It's your life, your moment. I help create the breakthrough, the first step towards change.

So, what is your mission? What do you take pleasure in doing? Who are you?