Your Story is Bigger than You

We all have a story which is bigger than us. That is because our lives are not coincidental, we were planned before the beginning of time to be here and carry out our mission. 

Furthermore, we all have talents, and when we share those, you can feel the fire. Some people are like fireworks; they shoot up to the sky, before they fade away. Others keep their fire burning longer. Some people shine in the public eye, others sparkle behind the scenes. All fiery passions are equally important. 

I watched Gudrun Schyman (leader of a Swedish feminist party) talk at a rally once, and although there were only a handful of people there, I could feel the fire and passion in her speech. It didn't matter if there were 1 or 1000 people watching: she spoke for a different reason, a higher purpose. 

I hope to be able to share my passion similarly and that my fire will help you glow! On the 22nd of this month I gave a motivational seminar in Luton, and it went beyond expectations! People sharing stories and coming up to chat awards: it was simply great. 

Before each seminar I make sure I prepare, but even so, you sometimes feel a slight nervousness. However, before this session, somehow I felt really calm and focused. It was as if sharing my story and motivating others was part of something bigger. 

The session had a great flow, and I instinctively felt I knew what to say. People told me later that the session had helped change their perceptions, which was great. 

During feedback afterwards, one lady even said she wanted to hear more about certain parts, such as the similarities between depression and addiction (mentioned previously in the blog) and the 10 life lessons. 

If you want to find out more about the life lessons and other topics, there will be further sessions in the near future, including webinars! 

Hope to see you there!  

Have a nice Sunday! 

x / Hermine

Faith, Hope and Love

At the moment there is a popular reality TV series being broadcasted in Sweden, 'Tro, hopp och kärlek' ('Faith, hope and love'). It centers on 4 vicars looking for love. Each person selects 7-8 people that they want to date and find out more about (based on applications to their profiles.) During each episode the pastors get closer to their decision who they are most interested in, and consequently say goodbye to those who showed to be less of a suitable partner.

 Participants on the show 'Tro, hopp och kärlek'. Copyright: SVT

Personally, I love this type of series about people looking for love and going on dates. What I particularly like about this show is that it proves that no matter your age, people still look for love in their 50's, 60's and so on,  and still feel like "a 14 year old" when on a date.

One thing that most participants have said once they have found their match, is that they can be themselves with that person, that they feel relaxed and at ease. In addition, a common reflection is that they can talk about anything with the other person, but also just be quiet.

In a country, where almost half of the homes are single households (mostly in big cities like Stockholm, Gothenburg and Malmö), TV series like the above are becoming increasingly popular (e.g. 'Love at first sight' about people meeting for the first time at the altar, broadcasted earlier this year).

Even when you have found yourself (and God), there is still the challenge and adventure of finding the other half. That search can take place at any age, but still creates the same excitement when the destiny seems near. It is watching people never giving up that hope, that makes me get excited about a new episode each week.

Linear-active vs. Multi-active cultures: A Cinematic Case Study

Intercultural skills can help save you a lot of frustration, as I experienced last night. Me and my husband went to see 'The Walk' about wire walker Philippe Petit who made it a mission to walk between the two Twin Towers. 

Actually deciding to watch the movie meant 'walking the walk' for me, as I had shivered each time I watched the trailer, due to slight acrophobia. 

So there we were seated, munching on the Cadbury bars. About a third into the movie I noticed 3 people behind us, '4 o' clock', chatting. My guess was that they were of South Asian descent, due to accent. I tell myself it is only a few whispers, until one of their mobile phones starts flashing. As the movie gains intensity, so do their voices. My husband, in a typical English fashion, turns around and gives them a strict 'look'. 

Halfway into the movie, after constant chatting from the upper row, my husband decides to go and speak to the staff, to avoid 'causing a scene'. Again, very English. 

A member of staff enters the screen room and respectfully tells the speaking spectators to be quiet. As Petit takes his first steps on the wire, I am finally able to fully focus. 

In the above situation, anyone could easily have been frustrated. "Why can't they just be quiet?". "I've paid £10 to watch the movie, I'm going to enjoy it, d**n it". 

I don't believe the people chatting were 'naughty'; my guess is that they come from multi-active culture, e.g. India, where people often do several things at the same time (such as talking during a movie.) In linear-active cultures like the UK, people usually do one thing at a time. Just like Petit's walk, it is one step at a time on a straight line. Similarly, members of linear-active societies dislike jumping to other activities, before the former tasks have been finished. 

In multi-active cultures, many people believe that flexibility with tasks, and focus on relationships is the quicker way to reach the goal. As an example, one can look at how people queue for the bus. Queueing and not cutting in line is of very high importance in the UK, while in other places like India or Spain, people tend form a group in front of the bus entrance. 

Are you from a linear-active or multiactive culture? Do you want to find out more about how to improve your cross cultural skills? Visit my website www.herminehodson.com 

What's your purpose in life?

Piggies can teach you a lot. Not a moment goes by opening a plastic bag without them 'oinking' with excitement. Each time they believe I am bringing them fresh grass from the garden. I try and give them a green treat every day, and they get just as excited each time. They will stand next to the cage opening, ready to dig in. As I put the grass in the grass, they will dive under it and bury themselves under the straws, so much that I can't even spot them.

They were made for grass, and grass was made for them: a perfect union. I believe each time they smell those handpicked straws, they connect with their purpose as a prey animal: to eat.

I also believe that we feel the same excitement when we discover something related to our purpose. When I deliver a training session, or watch Dr Phil, I forget time and become devoured by what I am doing in a good way. I get filled with excitement each time before talking to a group, or a new episode is out. That is because those above things relate to my purpose: I love analysing and helping people. (Thankfully I don't start 'oinking' like those fur balls at home!)

What is it that when you do it, you forget about space and time? What fills you up with excitement? The piggies can smell grass from the other end of the room. What are you looking forward to do, tomorrow, a week, a year from now?

Let me know and have a great week!

(Check out the munch bunch below!)

/Hermine

Intercultural Training and Life Coaching

I am in the business of culture and confidence. Through intercultural training I help organisations develop their communication skills (incl. negotiation, etiquette, body language) and cultural knowledge to strengthen relationships with partners and clients across cultures.

Confidence is an essential part when dealing with someone from a different culture; understanding the values, social codes and business etiquette rules helps you navigate safely when doing business abroad.

Confidence is also key part of what I do, since it is often a missing piece of the puzzle when taking a new direction in your life. By having someone there to listen to you, taking you seriously, create action plans, and follow up on your progress, your confidence increases significantly. 

When I arrived to Spain in 1999, I was unaware of cultural differences, since I had never been therefore. The first year I felt intimidated because I thought everyone was talking so loud, and gesticulating so much! Little did I know that the high expression of feelings in Spain were signs of sincerity. The more I held back, the more it looked like I was covering up, or hiding something. The more emotions you show, the more you give the impression of showing your pure self! 

After a couple of years I stopped feeling alarmed and adapted instead, to "survive". As a modest Swede, it was challenging to express more emotions, but boosting myself  up brought confidence being in Castilian territory. 

After having spent several years in the Spanish capital, my voice will now instantly rise, and my hands will start moving each time I speak Spanish! 

Your "particular set of skills"

Everyone has talent, a purpose in life to fulfill. However, discovering that talent and your niche market in life can be challenging. Some people are still looking for that special skill that they can zoom in on in their 50’s, and others seem to know what it is when they are 5. No matter how long it takes to find it, there is something out there that you are really good at.

Earlier this year, Dagens Nyheter (Swedish newspaper) wrote that Eric Schüldt, a Swedish radio show host received the Lagercrantz award earlier this year for his Saturday morning hit programme (among other projects) where he comments on mainly classical music.

After the award was announced journalist Åsa Beckman came to visit him. She had pictured Schüldt’s living room full of music sheet, busts of famous composers and records. Upon arrival, Beckman noted that on the contrary, the living room was “white and naked like a monastery cell. A piece of harsh ryebread, Marcel Proust’s ‘In Search of Lost Time’ on the workdesk plus a Russian Orthodox image of Christ. The only object which doesn’t look ascetic is a swivel chair in 70’s kitsch leather imitation with ditto foot stool.”

Schüldt said that that is where he sits and selects music for his show. He also stated that he prefers listening to music in earphones, rather than attending concerts, because then he feels that the music speaks just to him. During his university studies in journalism, he didn’t do well when it came to writing news stories, doing reports and so on. The only thing he was good at was good at was radio. The first time someone reacted positively on what he did was when he did radio broadcasts for a student channel.

As I read the article, I thought “Wow, there really is something for everyone.” I was impressed and fascinated by how Schüldt kept working at what he was good at, radio, and even more, analysing classical music, a true niche are in today’s music scene.

Our job is to keep testing, keep trying new things, until things click, someone comments on our talent, and that feedback gives us a hint. You may not be interested in the traditional areas of work, but there is always something you can excel in, even such specialised things such as listening to music in a white room.

"Fame is other people's perception of who you are"

As I was reading Markus 'Notch' Persson tweets earlier, I was reminded of the phrase stated by Oprah Winfrey regarding fame: "Fame is other people's perception of who you are." In other words, you can never experience yourself the same way another person would.

Persson is the founder of the famous online videogame 'Minecraft' in which you use blocks (similar to lego) to build anything you want. The game has won several awards and the company behind the game, Mojang, was bought by Microsoft in 2014 for $2.5 billion (£1.5 billion).

The purchase dramatically turned around Persson's life and he soon purchased a mansion in Beverly Hills for $70 million (ca. £45 million), outbidding Jay-Z and Beyonce.

While many of us look up to the lifestyle of the rich and famous, we are still observers. However, if we were in their shoes, would we still experience things in a positive way?

I think the tweet below speaks volumes about the joy and adventure being in the journey, not the destination.

Markus PerssonVerified account‏@notch

The problem with getting everything is you run out of reasons to keep trying, and human interaction becomes impossible due to imbalance.

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2:48 a.m. - 29 Aug 2015

Some years ago, I received a large sum of insurance money due to a dog bite in Italy. I love shopping and treating myself once a month after I get my paycheck. I even like window shopping since I get to plan what I will buy next.

However, after I received the lump sum, the excitement of buying one of those pretty expensive dresses, just vanished. It was as if when I knew I could by the dress (and the shoes, necklace, bag), I no longer sought the objects, they became every day things. As Persson stated, I was no longer trying, I had the money.

If I suddenly started earning millions and was hanging on Ibiza with celebrities, how would I know which ones were interested in me as a person, and which ones were interested in the money? Suddenly there's an imbalance.

I believe the key to keep oneself grounded is to do something for work, that you would do even if you weren't earning a penny, to have people around you who knew you before you acquired your wealth and will treat you the same way as before, and remember that happiness comes from the inside wherever we are in life.