The Right Time is Now

After attending a coaching course this week it made me think how we sometimes use practical obstacles as excuses to move forward. Although we may say we need help some people have already made up their mind. They have decided that it is too late, too hectic or too costly to take that step towards something they are passionate about doing e.g. a career change, a trip or a course.

The fact is that it is never too late, time-consuming or expensive. Those are simply “hurdles” used to argue that if it wasn’t for this and that, I would sure be where I want to be.

Any step forward involves a bit of risk. That’s when we need to step up, face the fear and hand it over to God. If He tells you it is right, things will work out. 

When I left for Spain, it was big step. I didn’t have a place to stay and no job, but I had money. The action of moving abroad also meant I couldn’t see my family as often as wanted. But it was a necessary step to feel better, to re-programme my mind from mental illness. 

We are only as young as we feel, and we all have missions we are supposed to fulfill. I believe God’s voice never stops whispering to us that we need a change. In fact, I think the voice grows louder and louder. 

Be honest with yourself, and re-consider if the hurdles in the natural world are perhaps excuses for fear that if you take a risk, God may not look after you in the supernatural? Believe me, He will. Step out in faith.  

Twitter: @HermineHodson

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Moan or Depression? How to tell

Sometimes when you talk to people, you can try a 1000 times to say something positive and they still bounce back with a negative statement. Having been through depression, I know that the illness wants to absorb any optimistic thoughts and turn them into whatever leads to the conclusion that you are no good and that there is no hope.

So how to differentiate between someone who moans and a person who is depressed?

One way is the rule of 3. Here's an example:

Your friend: "I went to Berlin last week but it rained all the time."
You: (#1) "But at least you got some time off."
Friend: "Yes, but we couldn't do anything because of the rain and I had to prepare work so there wasn't much point with the trip."
You: (#2) "Sorry to hear that. Hope you got a lot of work done?"
Friend: "I did, but I just hate my job."

You: (#3) "At least you know that you don't like it so you can start looking for something else."

If the other person responds with a negative statement after my 3 attempts, there's reason to consider that this person might be feeling low a large chunk of the time, maybe even depressed.

The other test I do is to listen if the person picks up on positive/general topics in group conversations. If the person only jumps in when it comes to challenges, complaints and criticism but not when it is about e.g. art, positive stories and appraisals, that could be a sign of depression.

So, to summarise, to bounce back with a negative comment, but being able to shift into positive feedback shows me that the person probably doesn't have a dark view of things. Similarly if someone can criticise as well as tell a positive story in the same conversation, the person is probably healthy.

Being depressed can feel like someone just pulled down the curtains and everything went dark. That's why when you are ill your response and engagement with others reflect your mental state that things are dark and hopeless.

I use the above tests on myself as well to check. If you feel like the friend in the examples above, it is time to seek help. Know that change is possible!

The Guinea Pig Gut Feeling

Despite having fed and taken care of my piggies for 1,5 years, they still shy away many times when I reach out my hand to pat them. All of the refilled nibble bowls, cucumber sticks, cleaning of their cage and chatting with them, doesn't seem to have mattered. I still get an "Oink!" and a "Whoosh!". It is as if they still assume "This hand is out to grab us and then she'll devour us!"

The piggies seem to have a built-in default reaction of fear. They even look around cautiously as they munch away at their dandelion leaves. It is not rational, and despite having been their main carer their whole lives, they still react as if I am a potential threat.

This made me think that perhaps the reason I got them was for them to teach me something? Like the piggies I sometimes have had a feeling of being preyed upon. "That man behind me in the escalator, is he looking into my bag?" or "Why is that lady staring funnily at me in the street?". Even more, sometimes when someone has offered friendship or kindness, I've not been ready for it and have pressed the piggy red alarm button. Not a rational, but logical reaction looking at my past.

Do you ever get that piggie gut feeling? There may occasionally be truth in it, but in most cases I promise you there's not. Face the fear if it is only someone stretching out a hand. 

The Importance of Not Being Idle

I learned today through Mind that one of the areas where motivation is lowest during mental illness is 'work'. Thinking about it, it makes sense. Work offers a sense of community, social contacts, structure, tasks, motivation, focus, and advancement in life on so many levels. The above things are often those that the mental illness wants to take away from you. The illness can even feel like a friend, one that you want to be alone with and with which you can identify yourself. As one falls deeper into the pit, the energy and focus on other things apart from the illness and oneself tend to decrease. 

Therefore it is key, that during treatment and recovery ('the runway' as I like to call it) the focus lies on how to re-integrate oneself back into society and back to work (unpaid or paid). 

The runway staff will help with the take off and equipment to break through the grey clouds hiding the sunlight and off you go! If you need further help, the control tower is just a phone call away and they've got you on their radar. 

Often the energy and motivation is not there to return to work, and one might need help with other areas (life skills, socialising, self-esteem, exercise) before engaging in professional activities.

However, once the seeds are sown, there is much fruit to be reaped!

Dreams and God's Messages

It's been a while! Have mainly been settling into married life. It is truly a new era in life as most decisions are now made together and I've got my man to speak to and hang out with each evening :)

One of the ways that God speaks to me is through dreams. There are two important dreams I have had lately, and they have both helped changed my perspective on life. One is about eating and the other one is about a skyscraper :)

Eat life or be eaten! 

That is exactly what I heard in the first dream. The way I interpreted it was that we either indulge in life and our desires to fulfill God's mission, or we become overtaken by worry, stress and other negative feelings. We either enjoy the life that God has given us and have faith in Him that He is in control and watching over us, or we stumble in the dark, and become easy prey to fear, stress etc. 

 

The Skyskraper

Sometimes in life we have what I call a 'revision'. We reach a certain age in life, e.g. 30 and look at what we have accomplished, where we are in terms of our journey and things we need to change and do better. 

Being 32, I have felt slightly more pressure regarding time to reach my goals and be efficient.
In the dream I had, I was on the 32nd floor of a skyscraper looking out, thinking "Omg, I can't believe I am this high up already. This has gone so quickly, I thought I was further down". My instinctive feeling was to try and take the elevator down, as I also don't like heights since it makes me a bit queasy.

I then heard a voice saying "Just admire the view." I believe this voice was from God, and that what He was saying was "Relax. Take a step back and look at your past with pride and how far you have come. Don't look at it with fear and worry, just admire the view and all the good things you have accomplished. Be proud of yourself! I have got your back."

Thinking about our life journeys as through a skyscraper helped me realise some things. When we are young we look up feeling excited, imagining what things look like on the 30th floor, the 40th floor etc. If bad things happen to us, they might look like big lorries and medium sized buildings that still seem big when we look out.

However, as we ascend up the skyscraper, the lorries and buildings become smaller and smaller and smaller... We gain perspective, and can see more of the big picture: How God has worked for good in our lives.

Also, some people don't want to go further up the building, they prefer to stay where they are, both mentally and emotionally. A few decide they don't want to go further up and experience whatever negative feelings they might have looking out on those heights, and jump out the window.

Furthermore, there are people in our lives who join us on our journey. For me, my husband, family members etc. will always be with me on the journey. Others I have met were there for a season on one or a couple of more floors.

The skyscraper portrayed in my dream was touching heaven. I believe that that is our ultimate destination, that when we finally reach the top, we join God.